Worst 100 Animals of All-Time

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
100 Animals
99 April Fools Jokes
98 Cartman Wannabes
97 Colors
96 Creatures to have sex with
95 Firefox extensions
94 Foods
93 Gifts to give a friend
92 Harry Potter Spin-offs
91 Inventions
90 Locations
89 LOL Cats
88 Make Out Songs
87 Moments to get a Boner
86 Moments to Laugh
85 Money Making Schemes
84 Movies
83 Nonexistent Words
82 Not In The Least Bit Sexual Things To Do With No Pants On
81 Nutty Conspiracy Theories
80 Overused Star Trek Episode Plots
79 Pokemon Cash-Ins
78 Porn Stars
77 Quick Detections that an Uncyclopedia page sucks
76 Weapons
75 Reflections on 2005
74 Reflections on 2006
73 Reflections on 2007
72 Reflections on 2008
71 Reflections on 2009
70 Reflections on 2010
69 Reflections on 2011
68 Reflections on 2012
67 Reflections on 2013
66 Reflections on 2018
65 Reflections on 2022
64 Rejected Harry Potter Novels
63 Remakes
62 Restaurants
61 Self Help Books
60 Sexual Perversions
59 Short Poems
58 Sitcom Catchphrases
57 Songs
56 Songs about Seagulling
55 Songs To Have Sex To
54 Songs To Play At A Funeral
53 Spinoffs
52 Superheroes
51 Things About the '00s
50 Things to do during Christmas
49 Things to Put In An IV
48 Things To Say In Court
47 Things to Say in the Workplace
46 Things to say on a First Date
45 Toys
44 TV Programs
43 Uncyclopedia In-Jokes
42 Video Games of all time‎
41 Video Game Movies
40 Video Game Systems
39 Ways of Being a Dick
38 Ways To Be Castrated
37 Ways to be Circumcized
36 Ways to Deliver Bad News
35 Ways to Die
34 Ways to Kill Sarah Connor
33 Ways to Start a Novel
32 Ways to Win an Argument
31 Religions

These are the worst animals ever seen on earth.

100-91[edit | edit source]

A cute little friend!
100. Raccoon
I really don't know how to explain this one.
99. Chihuahua
Are they a cat, a dog or a mouse? Who knows?
98. Koala Bear
They are really cuddly!
97. Praying Mantis
Who made these?
96. Toad
The cheap version of the Frog.
95. Liger/Tion
A stupid combination of a Tiger and a Lion.
94. Poison Tree Frog
Hard to tell what this is.
93. That stick creature
Nobody knows what to call this.
92. Chimpanzee
Even though their smart... It's a monkey.
91. Deer
One lousy animal that can run fast and jump high.

90-81[edit | edit source]

A leopard? Nope! A Cheetah!
90. Antelope
Isn't this the same as 91?
89. Yak
A fat Buffalo.
88. Reindeer
The same as 91 and 90?
87. Buffalo
A lot of yaks.
86. Leopard
A spotted Cheetah.
85. Chameleon
Wow! They can change colors, isn't that amazing?!
84. Cow
Shits a lot and now my farm smells like a skunk.
83. Elephant
It also shits and makes the whole zoo smell.
82. Polar Bear
A brown bear that's white.
81. Seal
The same as a Sea-Lion.

80-71[edit | edit source]

So horny!
80. Elk
The same as 88, 91 and 90?
79. Frog
A French princess kissed it!
78. Hummingbird
A bird that hums. Hmmmmmmm...
77. Penguin
They waddle funny. That's about it. Apparently they don't actually live in igloos, how disappointing.p
76. Unibra
May sound like a perverted fantasy, but is in fact the cross of a Zebra and a Unicorn.
75. Vampire Squid
Always fighting with Werewolf Squid.
74. Rat
Made the plague.
73. Rhino
Always horny.
72. Slug
Very slimy. Hate salt.
71. Sperm Whale
A whale with the libido of an otter and the penis of a horse.

70-61[edit | edit source]

I don't care what this is!
70. Moose
The same as 80, 88, 91 and 90?
69. Blue tit
This bird is not a hooter.
68. Mouse
One came with my computer!
67. Blackbird
The Beatles did this song. That's why!
66. Cockroach
HARD as fuck to kill.

60-51[edit | edit source]

60. Salamander- slimy and gross

59. Leech- like the tax collecting assholes they are.

58. Australians- really a subspecies of Homo sapiens but lacks the cognitive development of the last 10,000 years. Are easily mistaken for their cousins the stone-fish; but lazier and uglier.

57. New Zealanders- Much like Australians but only ten times worse with a high pitched voice.


55. Cats- Awful entitled little devils. All I can say.

54. Reddit Users - They’re really just pigs. Also known colloquially as dickheads, fucktards, scum, etc...

53. Nick- the king of Stonefish eats rotten fungi and bottom feeds off the excrement of his brethren. His jokes about kiwis fail 100% of the time.

52. Mosquito- what is worse than a flying leech/Aussie?

51. Ostrich- fucken freaky looking things with WW1 goggles on their head. If you mate one with a Nick you get a slug.

50-41[edit | edit source]

50. Lions. Except LionMaster, he's pretty cool, I guess.

49. Coaster Enthusiasts: They act entitled and complain when a roller coaster isn’t perfect I.e. not Steel Vengeance or Lightning Rod.

48. Woolly mammoths: What's so cool about them anyway? Aside from living in the frozen north, which is "cool" by definition, and being fucking extinct? They're just elephants.

47. Earthworms. They're just what you eat when nobody likes you and everybody hates you.

46. Naked mole-rats. Middle schoolers think they're funny, but come on. What do they even have going for them, like, anything?

45. Bats, they're obviously Bat Fuck Insane.

44. Habitual McDonald's denizens. Scientists predict that in 200 years, they may be the only species of whale left.

43. Hippopotamuses. Or hippopotami, like anyone gives a fuck. People think they're cool, but if you've ever seen one, they're basically just big rocks.

42. Salmon. They fuck and then fucking die. Seriously, what were you thinking, God?

Seriously, I can't even sell plastic figurines of this thing. Kids will think it's lame as hell. Just look at it!

41. Psittacosaurus. Lamest. Dinosaur. EVER.

40-31[edit | edit source]

40. Cormorants. They're just weird ducks that live in the ocean.

39. Badgers. You can't thnk about them without being reminded of that stupid video from like, 2002 or something.

38. MUSHROOM MUSHROOM, whoops, I mean Ahh snake ah snaaaaake oooooo ooh a snaaaaaaaake

37. Ogopogo. Just a bootleg Loch Ness monster because some guys just... wanted one. Maybe to attract tourists, or, whatever, which brings us to:

36: Jersey Devil.

30-21[edit | edit source]

29. Gollum This guy is the absolute hero of Lotr. I think. I don’t know what Lotr means. He also sounds like my Aunt Judith who always has caramels of indeterminate age in her pockets.

28. The blob fish These guys are the center of the cute/ugly debate. Make your own assumptions.

27. Tree Snot Green.

26. Elephants and donkeys. we put them both together here. They're both big, stupid creatures.

25. Peanut. This is a cat who is ded but doesn’t know it. His fur is falling out and his bones are exposed to the woRld tO sEe but he is still moving around.

24. Weird Al Yankovich (Original) The head of the original Weird Al Yankovich is on display in the Hall of National Treasures. It is happy to hold conversations with all who pass. Its body has been on a murderous rampage across the world. It’s calling card is a half eaten twinky wiener sandwich.

20-11[edit | edit source]

10-1[edit | edit source]