From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Leatherface, doing what he loves.

“The world would be more interesting if Leatha' was black...right?”

~ Martin Lawrence on Leatherface

“You damn fool! You ruined the door!”

~ The Cook on Leatherface

“He just slept in bed, next to me”

~ Gary Glitter on Leatherface

Leatherface is one of the most recognisable characters from the Texas Chainsaw massacre series of films. He is a vast man who typically wields a chainsaw and a tray of delicious, freshly-baked cookies...for he is the best cookie baker EVER! Ah ha ha ha haaaaa! The only known reason why he kils people with chainsaws is because once he has made the cookies he tries to cut them up with the chainsaw there for the cookies go everywhere and he blames it on other people.

Life of a Teenage Robot[edit | edit source]

The films don't mention much about him, preferring instead to focus on his threatening appearance. However, he is extremely friendly, as is his brother Chop Top, often approaching people in an attempt to befriend them. They often run away screaming, or try to fight back, at which point he rips them in half in self-defense. Wouldn't you do exactly the same in his situation?

It's generally assumed that Leatherface is mentally damaged and retarded (is a stupid way)(shown in his strange fascination with cookies) and physically deformed (which is why he wears the mask, because even the mask is more attractive than his normal face). Leatherface's actual name is Aby Leathers, he lives in a yellow coat and eats sheep poo occasionally.

Inspiration[edit | edit source]

The events of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre films are, like all horror films, based on the annual picnics of the Skull and Bones society. Leatherface is based on Ronald McDonald and his actions at the picnics, just toned down a little. For instance, Ronald killed all the teens, whereas Leatherface only wanted to be friends. Ronald's cookies were really drugged, whereas with Leatherface's, it was just an assumption based on his frightening appearance.

Intro to the new version of oh christmas tree[edit | edit source]

Oh leatherface oh leatherface bring me a severed head

be nice and bloody and nice and red i really hope it is dead

oh leatherface oh leatherface bring me a severed head

Reception[edit | edit source]

When first shown at the university, Scumbag College in Manchester UK the Texas Chainsaw Massacre caused not really many screams but rather a lot of YEEEEAAAYSSS whenever leatherface went to work on someone. However it has been noted that the Manchester City soccer team were present at the screaming of the film and reportedly "cried like little girls from the first scene". Manchester United who were also at the screening "thouroughly enjoyed the film". Chelsea being a pack of cowards didn't see the film at all......... they were too busy losing the Barclays premiership and the UEFA cup to Man U Oh snap!

Personal Life[edit | edit source]

LeatherFace has been linked to numerous women including the [[Blair Witch,Halle Berry, Chris Crocker, Britany spears, Hilary Clinton and Meg Griffin. It is said that after dating Britany Spears, he became gay and is currently dating Osama Bin Laden. As of 2009, rumors say that they are engaged, but leatherface is still denying it. In 2007, Leatherface was arrested and charged for dealing cookies to little children. After the police searched his cottage, they discvered an unlicenced cookie-making machine in the basement. Leatherface served 14 days in prison, where, according to police reports, he had sexual relations with his cellmate: Gary Glitter. After his release, Leatherface was diagonozed with AIDS, which, according to an inside source, he contracted while engaging in some not so nice activities with the popular man-whore Chris Crocker.

See also[edit | edit source]