Forum:Uncyclopedia:President of the United States

Forums: Index > Village Dump > Uncyclopedia:President of the United States

Note: This topic has been unedited for 5896 days. It is considered archived - the discussion is over. Do not add to unless it really needs a response.

This could be you!

This is it. The big one. The highest office an Uncyclopedian can hold, other than WotM. President of the United States. The "Leader of the Free World", if you will. And it is the Voting page.

Eligibility Requirements

To be nominated, you must:

• Be a registered member.
• Not nominate yourself. You can vote for yourself, but you can't nominate yourself.
• Be at least 35 years old, or be familiar with someone who is at least 35 years old.
• Be a U.S. citizen born in the United States, or at least be aware that there is a country called the United States. It's the one right under Canada.

Whom should I nominate?

Nominate the member who should be President of the United States.

Nominations and Voting Process

Nominations end on November 4, 2008. Over the course of the year you may vote ONCE for President. Do your research! Vote for who would bring massive win to the Oval Orifice. In January 2009, the winner will be inaugurated.

Fabulous Prizes

Winner will receive:

• The Presidency of the United States.
• No ice cream.

Vote Or Die!!

Nominate now! Only signed votes will count. Please use the level two headline format for the name of the nomination with an optional comment and mandatory signature underneath.

Past Winners

Abraham Lincoln • George W. Bush • Martin van Buren • Buddy • Bill Clinton

Official Nominations for the Presidency

Mr 'N' Mhaille

Score: 6 pairs of lower-body-covering unionjack emblazoned garments

• Nom and for. MrN9000 would bring gravitas, Britishness, and pants to the Presidency. pillow talk 19:06, 25 August 2008 (UTC)
  • All sounds very sensible to me. MrN 19:26, Aug 25
• Hear, hear! I'm considering throwing my weight behind MrN9k to form an Anglo coalition, focused on returning the running of the colony to a nation with substantial history in ruling the world. Making America Great (Britain's playground). -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)
  • For!. Join me, and together we can rule the galaxy... MrN 19:31, Aug 27

That sounds so much better with a British accent. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Is it still James Earl Jones's voice, just with a British accent? Should I just imagine a regular Britishy voice? - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 21:48, Aug 27

I'm toying with a West Country dialect, as performed by David Prowse. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

• Strong British For - The British ruling America? Well, it'll just be like the olds days chaps! (Bonner) (Talk) Aug 27, 21:52
• For - I hope you take better care of your pants than Malcolm Fraser did --Knucmo2 10:25, 31 August 2008 (UTC)
• For. Everything will be Bertie Wooster and roses, chaps. It's a wheeze. All settled then. No fear. ----OEJ 13:27, 6 September 2008 (UTC)
• Possible for should "order" and "freedom" fail to be restored — Sir Sycamore (talk) 15:19, 6 September 2008 (UTC)

STM 'N' SPANG

Score: 2 Funny Men

• You know it's right. You know you want to vote for it. You know that STM 'N' SPANG are going to have this title anyway, regardless of who you vote for. Though a vote for anyone else means you love Hitler. • Spang • ☃ • talk • 22:06, 25 Aug 2008
• for Lieutenant THEDUDEMAN Dude ... Totally UOTM KUN GotA F@H 22:08, 25 August 2008 (UTC)
• Hmmm... Well, I am a big fan of the H-man... Mark me down as an abstain, FOR NOW. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 22:08, Aug 25
• Against. Yeah. That's right. I'm different. - Velosi-T {] Screech * Vomit * Mutilations [} 00:24, 6 September 2008 (UTC)

  Invalid. One user, one vote. Also, one testicle...lost the other back in the war. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 03:44, 6 September 2008 (UTC)

  Did you check the lost property? • Spang • ☃ • talk • 09:29, 06 Sep 2008

  Yeah. I thought I found it, but it turned out to be a mitten. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 14:56, 6 September 2008 (UTC)

BradaMO

Score: 3 choice of some kind

• For. You know that Spang is wrong. BradaMO is the way to go. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 22:57, 25 August 2008 (UTC)
• Let's be honest, it's who Mo and I would vote for, and we're incompetent!--<<>> 00:44, 27 August 2008 (UTC)

  Let's be honest here... BradaMO is capitalised wrong. Do you really want someone with such wanton disregard for capitalisation to be president? Of course not. Vote STM 'N' SPANG! • Spang • ☃ • talk • 01:00, 27 Aug 2008

  It's "capitalized wrongly". Duh. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 01:06, 27 August 2008 (UTC)

  Capitalised. • Spang • ☃ • talk • 01:14, 27 Aug 2008

  Seriously, can be trust someone to head the United States who used Britiush spelling? I rest my case, your honour.--<<>> 01:22, 27 August 2008 (UTC)

  Spang has one of those metric keyboards. 100 keys but no "z" key (except for the metric "z", which is completely different). Also, when you hit the "o" key, it sometimes types "ou". Weird. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 02:07, 27 August 2008 (UTC)

  Yes, we can be trust someone to do this. And yes, this will be a metric presidency. STM 'N' SPANG will fit more years of service into the same time space and it'll be worth twice the value! • Spang • ☃ • talk • 02:28, 27 Aug 2008

• For. Because we all know we need more Modus. - Velosi-T {] Screech * Vomit * Mutilations [} 00:24, 6 September 2008 (UTC)

216.93.231.149

Score: 2 Political genius

• Of all the people on this site, there is only one person who has the genius-level political nous to become the next President. --Cap'n Sir Ben GUN WotM VFH VFP 23:53, 25 August 2008 (UTC)
• FOR!!!!! -- Hi, hey! I'M A MOTERFUCKING NIGGER BITCH LOVER 01:00, 26 August 2008 (UTC)
• Abstain. He's got the leadership skills, but he's no Codeine is a fat cunt. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 11:56, 31 August 2008 (UTC)

Pat Buchanan?

• Hey is this where I vote?.. do I just pull this leve- oops uh... I think I just voted for Nader :/ --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 12:18, 26 August 2008 (UTC)

Famine & Zombiebaron

Score: +5

• "We're sort of like a third party. Except we don't care." -- The Zombiebaron 15:27, 26 August 2008 (UTC)
•  For. — Sir Sycamore (talk) 15:28, 26 August 2008 (UTC)
• VOTE FAMINE AND ZOMBIEBARON. It's almost better than having lungs! Ж Kalir, Crazy Indie Gamer _{(missile ponies for everyone!)} 02:33, 27 August 2008 (UTC)
• Surprise Sexy For. Fuck the 2 party system! -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 11:56, 31 August 2008 (UTC)
• For. Totalitarianism is good. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} 22:46, Sep 2

LeoisFonchezzz

Score: +.2

• I feel we are fully qualified for this position-- Phlegm Leoispotter * (garble! jank!) 20:41, 31 August 2008 (UTC)

• My! oh my! I knew I was a fog horn, but not a church bell. Well. Perhaps on the sofa, but not on the couch?--|Fonchezzz| Quacking| 20:50, 31 August 2008 (UTC)

High Gen. Grue

Score: +20 Mech Floods and voting scandals

• I promise I won't destroy the wiki with nukes and that I won't start a Totalitarian Regime. --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 06:10, 1 September 2008 (UTC)
• For --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 00:03, 2 September 2008 (UTC)
• For --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 00:03, 2 September 2008 (UTC)
• For --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 00:03, 2 September 2008 (UTC)
• For --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 00:03, 2 September 2008 (UTC)
• For --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 00:03, 2 September 2008 (UTC)
• For --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 00:03, 2 September 2008 (UTC)
• For --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 00:03, 2 September 2008 (UTC)
• For --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 00:03, 2 September 2008 (UTC)
• For --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 00:03, 2 September 2008 (UTC)
• For --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 00:03, 2 September 2008 (UTC)
• For --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 00:03, 2 September 2008 (UTC)
• For --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 00:03, 2 September 2008 (UTC)
• For --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 00:03, 2 September 2008 (UTC)
• For --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 00:03, 2 September 2008 (UTC)
• For --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 00:03, 2 September 2008 (UTC)
• For --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 00:03, 2 September 2008 (UTC)
• For --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 00:03, 2 September 2008 (UTC)
• For --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 00:03, 2 September 2008 (UTC)
• For --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 00:03, 2 September 2008 (UTC)
• For --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 00:03, 2 September 2008 (UTC)

I must say I'm a little concerned about possible voting irregularities in this election. MrN 13:32, Sep 6

Nah, all a US election is is a test of how well you can rig it, Haliburton actually decides who becomes president. --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 04:37, 7 September 2008 (UTC)

Cajek and Skully's Fun Fun And Destruction Campaign!

Score: 3.000000000000000000167

• For. Because I want to see this place burn to the ground. The Woodburninator (woodtalk) (woodstalk) 09:43, 1 September 2008 (UTC)
•  For. I totally didn't edit the title. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 04:14 Sep 06, 2008
•  Fun yay yay :D XD O____O   Le Cejak • <4:25, 06 Sep 2008>
• In Australia we have preferential voting so I can vote for everyone! Congrats Mr.134798238423676676867989789 --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 15:09, 6 September 2008 (UTC)

Enzo Aquarius/Stephen Colbert 2008

Who wants to vote for an old guy and a 20-month-experience running mate? Would YOU want the country to be run in an emergency by a vice-president with 20 months of political experience? I think not! I also have Stephen Colbert, so you can't complain! VOTE AQUARIUS/COLBERT!

Score: 1

• For - Admiral Enzo Aquarius-Dial the Gate 04:41, 6 September 2008 (UTC)

The white guy in All-4-One and a remarkably intelligent mongoose

Score: 1

• Strong for. --S0.S0S.0S.0S0 15:00, 13 September 2008 (UTC)
• Comment Mr So So, I'm not sure I like the tone of this nomination. It appears that you are making a mockery of this election. Now, we can all see the sense in having a mongoose running the country, especially a remarkably intelligent one, but The white guy in All-4-One? Come now. Everyone knows that this individual lacks the necessary credentials. Does the presidency require a guy to stand at the back and put his hand in the air? Remember what happened last time Germany tried that strategy. I urge you to reconsider this nomination. MrN 20:09, Sep 14
  • This is worse than that time a ficus ran for President. <cut to Family-Guy style recap of Michael Moore running a tree for President.>--<<>> 02:11, 15 September 2008 (UTC)
    • I firmly stand by my candidates. Mr. White guy has international experience, spiffy glasses, and is fully prepared to sing his State of the UnUnion Address set to something produced by the Neptunes. Not only that, but he would also provide a much needed white-centric point of view. As for the intelligent mongoose, she is more than ready to take the helm should the worst happen. Oh, did I mention that it was female? Yes people, we're going to break the glass ceiling here. Our mongoose has been thoroughly trained in button pressing and has the guts to initiate a nuclear strike the moment a security threat arises. And I'll tell you people, NOBODY is as cute as this little bugger while obliterating tens of thousands of human lives. --S0.S0S.0S.0S0 07:05, 15 September 2008 (UTC)

senator barack hussein, my uncle's monkey

barack hussein, cousin of saddam's favorite contract killer, should be minister of information.

because his public image is so clean and articulate, and his friends at the ford foundation

make nice german cars for israeli riot police to use. with love of israel, boron.

Boron the kazakh jew 17:09, 18 September 2008 (UTC)

• Invalid Nom. There is no registered user by the name of "Senator Barack Hussein, My Uncle's Monkey. pillow talk 20:00, 18 September 2008 (UTC)
  • Though such a name, would you decide to register that account, would be within our naming standards. You can call yourself any wacky name you want, even Hussein.--<<>> 11:49, 19 September 2008 (UTC)

Awards, Decorations and Honours