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Emopedia
Welcome to Emopedia,
40,380 heart-rending poems in English
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Today's Message of pain
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Loneliness is the dark despair of solitude.
It is the feeling that no one loves me.
Not even my mom or my cat really understand the pain of Teenaged Angst.
No one understands me.
No one loves me.
My family claims that they do, but we all know they're lying.
God, I hate them so much; the fakes.
The only people who love me, The only ones who understand or care
All live in my iPod...
Valentines Day. People are supposed to be happy, right?
I'm not.
Not since she left me.
I guess she found someone more screwed up than I am,
or perhaps he's just more Scene than I, or maybe it's his hair.
It was the best three days of my life, though, with her.
She was so much better than the girl last week.
I let her draw Xs and Cut Lines on my wrists in sharpie.
They're still there, mocking me, reflecting the darkness in my soul.
They are tempting me.
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Did you care...
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*... that the national pastime of Palestine is Stone the Israeli Tank?
- ... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same?
- ... that the national pastime of Palestine is Stone the Israeli Tank?
- ... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same?
- ... that the national pastime of Palestine is Stone the Israeli Tank?
- ... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same?
- ... that the national pastime of Palestine is Stone the Israeli Tank?
- ... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same?
- ... that the national pastime of Palestine is Stone the Israeli Tank?
- ... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same?
- ... that the national pastime of Palestine is Stone the Israeli Tank?
- ... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same?
- ... that the national pastime of Palestine is Stone the Israeli Tank?
- ... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same?
- ... that the national pastime of Palestine is Stone the Israeli Tank?
- ... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same?
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Recent deaths
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"It's for the children's own good!"
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Today sucks because...
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July 28: National Fondue and Chocolate Day (Switzerland) (pictured)
- 1020 – Swiss man Arkov Chenbort accidentally drops chocolate into vat of fondue. Entire village enjoys snack.
- 1439 – A continent-wide fondue shortage in Europe causes citizens to whine, moan, complain, and otherwise be unhappy.
- 1794 – Robespierre is sent to the guillotine for declaring white chocolate the Chocolate of the Revolution...and for thinking July could be renamed Thermedor.
- 1956 – The first video game is introduced, allowing the player to move a dot to one of two locations on a projected screen using punch cards. Legendary gamer AAA makes his debut, setting the all-time high score of 13, which stands to this day.
- 1972 – On a trip to Vietnam, Jane Fondue is captured in a photograph that caused chocolate sales to soar, at least to her for a while.
- 1999 – After widespread internet rumors concerning chocolate shortages are proven to be false, many of the instigators are banned from the internet.
- 2007 – Bashing one's head against a brick wall is officially substitued for fondue and chocolate in some of the poorer areas of the world.
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Today's featured artistry
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Poets of the Month
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Modusoperandi hunts down random, unfunny shit which he replaces with less-random, quasi-funny shit. Occasionally he gets up off his ass (or more correctly, sits down on it) and makes a page of his own, to which no one ever goes.
Recently he's been making pictures that people don't like and, having discovered UnNews, has been making fake news stories (rather than the fake regular stories that he normally makes).
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The Bard (baptised 26 April 1564 – died 23 April 1616) was an English poet and playwright widely regarded as the greatest writer of the English language, and the world's preeminent dramatist. He wrote approximately 38 plays and 154 sonnets, as well as a variety of other poems. Already a popular writer in his own lifetime, the Bard became increasingly celebrated after his death and his work adulated by numerous prominent cultural figures through the centuries.
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Congratulations to Hardwick Fundlebuggy, our Poet of the Year, and Mhaille, our Self-harmer of the Year!
Vote for Poet of the Month | Vote for Loner of the Month | Vote for Self-harmer of the Month | Past Losers
You now only have 3, god dammit, 3 days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting!
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This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 40,380 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Em:!:
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