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Emopedia
Welcome to Emopedia,
40,788 heart-rending poems in English
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Today's Message of pain
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Loneliness is the dark despair of solitude.
It is the feeling that no one loves me.
Not even my mom or my cat really understand the pain of Teenaged Angst.
No one understands me.
No one loves me.
My family claims that they do, but we all know they're lying.
God, I hate them so much; the fakes.
The only people who love me, The only ones who understand or care
All live in my iPod...
Valentines Day. People are supposed to be happy, right?
I'm not.
Not since she left me.
I guess she found someone more screwed up than I am,
or perhaps he's just more Scene than I, or maybe it's his hair.
It was the best three days of my life, though, with her.
She was so much better than the girl last week.
I let her draw Xs and Cut Lines on my wrists in sharpie.
They're still there, mocking me, reflecting the darkness in my soul.
They are tempting me.
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Did you care...
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*... that 5/3 people cannot do fractions?
- ... that the admins will never approve your DYK submission nor will they read these suggestions?
- ... that 5/3 people cannot do fractions?
- ... that the admins will never approve your DYK submission nor will they read these suggestions?
- ... that 5/3 people cannot do fractions?
- ... that the admins will never approve your DYK submission nor will they read these suggestions?
- ... that 5/3 people cannot do fractions?
- ... that the admins will never approve your DYK submission nor will they read these suggestions?
- ... that 5/3 people cannot do fractions?
- ... that the admins will never approve your DYK submission nor will they read these suggestions?
- ... that 5/3 people cannot do fractions?
- ... that the admins will never approve your DYK submission nor will they read these suggestions?
- ... that 5/3 people cannot do fractions?
- ... that the admins will never approve your DYK submission nor will they read these suggestions?
- ... that 5/3 people cannot do fractions?
- ... that the admins will never approve your DYK submission nor will they read these suggestions?
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Recent deaths
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One simply cannot piss until he scans this.
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Today sucks because...
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October 18: International Funk Day (Portugal), Radiation Day
- 0023 - God lost control of the universe yet again, causing countless miracles. Luckily, Jesus thought fast and found an explanation for all those fish everywhere.
- 1000 - Due to linguistical differences in many parts of the world, many people have unfortunately mixed up International Funk Day with International Spunk Day. Kleenex has a field day.
- 1955 - All Hell Breaks Loose in Wittinghermandershire Upon Broohavensmarshington, England when a portal to the dark underworld is discovered by a chimney sweep mistaking an inconspicuous closet door for that of the men's lavatory in a small, inconspicuous pub. The scene of dark beings invading the earth is compounded by the fact that the chimney sweep failed to realize that the "urinal" into which he chose to relieve himself was, in fact, a dark being. And, although dark beings are, in fact, dark beings, they do have feelings too and do not, contrary to popular belief, appreciate being urinated upon by chimney sweeps.
- 1960 - Funk music, Jazz's retarded brother is born.
- 1978 - U.S. President George Clinton puts Portugal under a groove. Portuguese population introduced to blow.
- 2002 - Jacques Chirac is elected in France, funky disco dancing ensues.
- 2002 - Parisians realize how gay Disco Dancing is, rioting ensues.
- 2006 - Kim Jong Il funks the world with Mass Destruction, giving celebration to all of the days' occasions.
- 2557- 25 different types of cheese are discovered on the bottom of the ocean. Scientists are baffled and manage to retrieve 16 of the different types. A German hypnotist later publishes the findings in a kids weekly coloring book; it becomes an instant best seller.
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Today's featured artistry
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Poets of the Month
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Modusoperandi hunts down random, unfunny shit which he replaces with less-random, quasi-funny shit. Occasionally he gets up off his ass (or more correctly, sits down on it) and makes a page of his own, to which no one ever goes.
Recently he's been making pictures that people don't like and, having discovered UnNews, has been making fake news stories (rather than the fake regular stories that he normally makes).
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The Bard (baptised 26 April 1564 – died 23 April 1616) was an English poet and playwright widely regarded as the greatest writer of the English language, and the world's preeminent dramatist. He wrote approximately 38 plays and 154 sonnets, as well as a variety of other poems. Already a popular writer in his own lifetime, the Bard became increasingly celebrated after his death and his work adulated by numerous prominent cultural figures through the centuries.
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Congratulations to Hardwick Fundlebuggy, our Poet of the Year, and Mhaille, our Self-harmer of the Year!
Vote for Poet of the Month | Vote for Loner of the Month | Vote for Self-harmer of the Month | Past Losers
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This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 40,788 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Em:!:
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