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The artsy and misunderstood encyclopedia that anyone can edit, but probably won't, since nobody cares.
40,973 heart-rending poems in English

Loneliness · Rejection · Love · Misery · Death · </3

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Today's Message of pain

Loneliness is the dark despair of solitude.

It is the feeling that no one loves me.
Not even my mom or my cat really understand the pain of Teenaged Angst.
No one understands me.
No one loves me.
My family claims that they do, but we all know they're lying.
God, I hate them so much; the fakes.
The only people who love me, The only ones who understand or care
All live in my iPod...


Valentines Day. People are supposed to be happy, right?
I'm not.
Not since she left me.
I guess she found someone more screwed up than I am,
or perhaps he's just more Scene than I, or maybe it's his hair.
It was the best three days of my life, though, with her.
She was so much better than the girl last week.
I let her draw Xs and Cut Lines on my wrists in sharpie.
They're still there, mocking me, reflecting the darkness in my soul.
They are tempting me.

Did you care...

Pigpen.PNG
  • ... that Pigpen had a collection of over 200 various skin diseases during his childhood? (Pictured)
  • ... that your car is rolling down the driveway right now?
  • ... that Uranus is a gas giant?
  • ... that sovereign citizens have all the rights of U.S citizens, without having to follow any of the laws?
  • ... that en passant is actually French for "inventing new rules as you go along?"
  • ... that I am Batman?
  • ... that dyslexic farmers wear catflaps on their heads?
  • ... that you can fry a potato but not a potatoe, according to the Potato-tomato theorem?
Freud cigar.jpg
  • ... that nobody can describe what a simile is like?
  • ... that paper beats rock, but guns beat everything?
  • ... that there's more to the 9/11 attacks than the conspiracy theorists would have you believe? Like, way more?
  • ... that Alaska is a mooseocracy, in which citizens select a moose to lead them?
  • ... that the square root of 69 is 8 something?
  • ... that Godot isn't coming?
  • ... that the only way the bible could have more holes is if it were written on Jesus's skin?
Pigpen.PNG
  • ... that Pigpen had a collection of over 200 various skin diseases during his childhood? (Pictured)
  • ... that your car is rolling down the driveway right now?
  • ... that Uranus is a gas giant?
  • ... that sovereign citizens have all the rights of U.S citizens, without having to follow any of the laws?
  • ... that en passant is actually French for "inventing new rules as you go along?"
  • ... that I am Batman?
  • ... that dyslexic farmers wear catflaps on their heads?
  • ... that you can fry a potato but not a potatoe, according to the Potato-tomato theorem?
Freud cigar.jpg
  • ... that nobody can describe what a simile is like?
  • ... that paper beats rock, but guns beat everything?
  • ... that there's more to the 9/11 attacks than the conspiracy theorists would have you believe? Like, way more?
  • ... that Alaska is a mooseocracy, in which citizens select a moose to lead them?
  • ... that the square root of 69 is 8 something?
  • ... that Godot isn't coming?
  • ... that the only way the bible could have more holes is if it were written on Jesus's skin?
Pigpen.PNG
  • ... that Pigpen had a collection of over 200 various skin diseases during his childhood? (Pictured)
  • ... that your car is rolling down the driveway right now?
  • ... that Uranus is a gas giant?
  • ... that sovereign citizens have all the rights of U.S citizens, without having to follow any of the laws?
  • ... that en passant is actually French for "inventing new rules as you go along?"
  • ... that I am Batman?
  • ... that dyslexic farmers wear catflaps on their heads?
  • ... that you can fry a potato but not a potatoe, according to the Potato-tomato theorem?
Freud cigar.jpg
  • ... that nobody can describe what a simile is like?
  • ... that paper beats rock, but guns beat everything?
  • ... that there's more to the 9/11 attacks than the conspiracy theorists would have you believe? Like, way more?
  • ... that Alaska is a mooseocracy, in which citizens select a moose to lead them?
  • ... that the square root of 69 is 8 something?
  • ... that Godot isn't coming?
  • ... that the only way the bible could have more holes is if it were written on Jesus's skin?
Pigpen.PNG
  • ... that Pigpen had a collection of over 200 various skin diseases during his childhood? (Pictured)
  • ... that your car is rolling down the driveway right now?
  • ... that Uranus is a gas giant?
  • ... that sovereign citizens have all the rights of U.S citizens, without having to follow any of the laws?
  • ... that en passant is actually French for "inventing new rules as you go along?"
  • ... that I am Batman?
  • ... that dyslexic farmers wear catflaps on their heads?
  • ... that you can fry a potato but not a potatoe, according to the Potato-tomato theorem?
Freud cigar.jpg
  • ... that nobody can describe what a simile is like?
  • ... that paper beats rock, but guns beat everything?
  • ... that there's more to the 9/11 attacks than the conspiracy theorists would have you believe? Like, way more?
  • ... that Alaska is a mooseocracy, in which citizens select a moose to lead them?
  • ... that the square root of 69 is 8 something?
  • ... that Godot isn't coming?
  • ... that the only way the bible could have more holes is if it were written on Jesus's skin?
Pigpen.PNG
  • ... that Pigpen had a collection of over 200 various skin diseases during his childhood? (Pictured)
  • ... that your car is rolling down the driveway right now?
  • ... that Uranus is a gas giant?
  • ... that sovereign citizens have all the rights of U.S citizens, without having to follow any of the laws?
  • ... that en passant is actually French for "inventing new rules as you go along?"
  • ... that I am Batman?
  • ... that dyslexic farmers wear catflaps on their heads?
  • ... that you can fry a potato but not a potatoe, according to the Potato-tomato theorem?
Freud cigar.jpg
  • ... that nobody can describe what a simile is like?
  • ... that paper beats rock, but guns beat everything?
  • ... that there's more to the 9/11 attacks than the conspiracy theorists would have you believe? Like, way more?
  • ... that Alaska is a mooseocracy, in which citizens select a moose to lead them?
  • ... that the square root of 69 is 8 something?
  • ... that Godot isn't coming?
  • ... that the only way the bible could have more holes is if it were written on Jesus's skin?
Pigpen.PNG
  • ... that Pigpen had a collection of over 200 various skin diseases during his childhood? (Pictured)
  • ... that your car is rolling down the driveway right now?
  • ... that Uranus is a gas giant?
  • ... that sovereign citizens have all the rights of U.S citizens, without having to follow any of the laws?
  • ... that en passant is actually French for "inventing new rules as you go along?"
  • ... that I am Batman?
  • ... that dyslexic farmers wear catflaps on their heads?
  • ... that you can fry a potato but not a potatoe, according to the Potato-tomato theorem?
Freud cigar.jpg
  • ... that nobody can describe what a simile is like?
  • ... that paper beats rock, but guns beat everything?
  • ... that there's more to the 9/11 attacks than the conspiracy theorists would have you believe? Like, way more?
  • ... that Alaska is a mooseocracy, in which citizens select a moose to lead them?
  • ... that the square root of 69 is 8 something?
  • ... that Godot isn't coming?
  • ... that the only way the bible could have more holes is if it were written on Jesus's skin?
Pigpen.PNG
  • ... that Pigpen had a collection of over 200 various skin diseases during his childhood? (Pictured)
  • ... that your car is rolling down the driveway right now?
  • ... that Uranus is a gas giant?
  • ... that sovereign citizens have all the rights of U.S citizens, without having to follow any of the laws?
  • ... that en passant is actually French for "inventing new rules as you go along?"
  • ... that I am Batman?
  • ... that dyslexic farmers wear catflaps on their heads?
  • ... that you can fry a potato but not a potatoe, according to the Potato-tomato theorem?
Freud cigar.jpg
  • ... that nobody can describe what a simile is like?
  • ... that paper beats rock, but guns beat everything?
  • ... that there's more to the 9/11 attacks than the conspiracy theorists would have you believe? Like, way more?
  • ... that Alaska is a mooseocracy, in which citizens select a moose to lead them?
  • ... that the square root of 69 is 8 something?
  • ... that Godot isn't coming?
  • ... that the only way the bible could have more holes is if it were written on Jesus's skin?
Pigpen.PNG
  • ... that Pigpen had a collection of over 200 various skin diseases during his childhood? (Pictured)
  • ... that your car is rolling down the driveway right now?
  • ... that Uranus is a gas giant?
  • ... that sovereign citizens have all the rights of U.S citizens, without having to follow any of the laws?
  • ... that en passant is actually French for "inventing new rules as you go along?"
  • ... that I am Batman?
  • ... that dyslexic farmers wear catflaps on their heads?
  • ... that you can fry a potato but not a potatoe, according to the Potato-tomato theorem?
Freud cigar.jpg
  • ... that nobody can describe what a simile is like?
  • ... that paper beats rock, but guns beat everything?
  • ... that there's more to the 9/11 attacks than the conspiracy theorists would have you believe? Like, way more?
  • ... that Alaska is a mooseocracy, in which citizens select a moose to lead them?
  • ... that the square root of 69 is 8 something?
  • ... that Godot isn't coming?
  • ... that the only way the bible could have more holes is if it were written on Jesus's skin?
Pigpen.PNG
  • ... that Pigpen had a collection of over 200 various skin diseases during his childhood? (Pictured)
  • ... that your car is rolling down the driveway right now?
  • ... that Uranus is a gas giant?
  • ... that sovereign citizens have all the rights of U.S citizens, without having to follow any of the laws?
  • ... that en passant is actually French for "inventing new rules as you go along?"
  • ... that I am Batman?
  • ... that dyslexic farmers wear catflaps on their heads?
  • ... that you can fry a potato but not a potatoe, according to the Potato-tomato theorem?

Recent deaths

Norris4.jpg

Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein FilesWar Special Combat Operation in Iran • Winter ParalympicsSaturn AwardsChucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed

Recent deaths: Neil SedakaAli KhameneiTeam Italy sled hockey • Miami Dolphins, twice • That guy from Boston. The band, not the city. But isn't the band from the city? • Chuck Norris doesn't fuckin' die, the world died to him

Upcoming deaths: WeedDancin' MaduroIranMahmoud AhmadinejadAtlanta Falcons • Every Cesar Chavez Street's name

Today sucks because...

Would you prefer a picture of procrasturbation? Take a selfie nerd

March 20: Procrasturbation Day

  • 1602 - The Dutch East India company is founded, paving the way for the trade of such goods as sugar, spices, human slaves, and additional sugar.
  • 1815 - After escaping from his exile in Elba using cheese, cocked berets, and other French sterotypes, Napoleon Bonaparte begins his "Hundred Days" Rule.
  • 1833 - Honest Jim starts his career out by selling his grandfather's false teeth back to him at nine times their original value.
  • 1852 - Hariet Beecher Stowe's Uncle Tom's Cabin was published, setting racial equality back about seventy-five years.
  • 1883 - Eleven counties signed the Paris Convention for the Protection of Industrial Property, strictly outlawing the trade of ideas, dreams.
  • 1914 - The first international Figure Skating World Championships take place in Connecticut. The losers maintain their dignity.
  • 1984 - Dungeons & Dragons hits a new high note with the introduction of the Stock Broker playable character set, including Briefcase of Monotony and +2 Ballpoint Pen.

Today's featured artistry

Heart-o-nails.jpg

My heart has been broken... Then taken out and had a bunch of nails put in it.

Image Credit: RadicalX
Nominate new image - View all featured images

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Poets of the Month

Wotm.jpg

Modusoperandi hunts down random, unfunny shit which he replaces with less-random, quasi-funny shit. Occasionally he gets up off his ass (or more correctly, sits down on it) and makes a page of his own, to which no one ever goes.

Recently he's been making pictures that people don't like and, having discovered UnNews, has been making fake news stories (rather than the fake regular stories that he normally makes).


Noobaward.jpg

The Bard (baptised 26 April 1564 – died 23 April 1616) was an English poet and playwright widely regarded as the greatest writer of the English language, and the world's preeminent dramatist. He wrote approximately 38 plays and 154 sonnets, as well as a variety of other poems. Already a popular writer in his own lifetime, the Bard became increasingly celebrated after his death and his work adulated by numerous prominent cultural figures through the centuries.


Congratulations to Hardwick Fundlebuggy, our Poet of the Year, and Mhaille, our Self-harmer of the Year!


Vote for Poet of the Month | Vote for Loner of the Month | Vote for Self-harmer of the Month | Past Losers

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