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Emopedia
Welcome to Emopedia,
41,132 heart-rending poems in English
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Today's Message of pain
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Loneliness is the dark despair of solitude.
It is the feeling that no one loves me.
Not even my mom or my cat really understand the pain of Teenaged Angst.
No one understands me.
No one loves me.
My family claims that they do, but we all know they're lying.
God, I hate them so much; the fakes.
The only people who love me, The only ones who understand or care
All live in my iPod...
Valentines Day. People are supposed to be happy, right?
I'm not.
Not since she left me.
I guess she found someone more screwed up than I am,
or perhaps he's just more Scene than I, or maybe it's his hair.
It was the best three days of my life, though, with her.
She was so much better than the girl last week.
I let her draw Xs and Cut Lines on my wrists in sharpie.
They're still there, mocking me, reflecting the darkness in my soul.
They are tempting me.
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Did you care...
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*... that 100% of people who are rushed to the hospital will die?
- ... that there is no consensus among experts on vice presidential history that Al Gore exists?
- ... that 100% of people who are rushed to the hospital will die?
- ... that there is no consensus among experts on vice presidential history that Al Gore exists?
- ... that 100% of people who are rushed to the hospital will die?
- ... that there is no consensus among experts on vice presidential history that Al Gore exists?
- ... that 100% of people who are rushed to the hospital will die?
- ... that there is no consensus among experts on vice presidential history that Al Gore exists?
- ... that 100% of people who are rushed to the hospital will die?
- ... that there is no consensus among experts on vice presidential history that Al Gore exists?
- ... that 100% of people who are rushed to the hospital will die?
- ... that there is no consensus among experts on vice presidential history that Al Gore exists?
- ... that 100% of people who are rushed to the hospital will die?
- ... that there is no consensus among experts on vice presidential history that Al Gore exists?
- ... that 100% of people who are rushed to the hospital will die?
- ... that there is no consensus among experts on vice presidential history that Al Gore exists?
- ... that 100% of people who are rushed to the hospital will die?
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Recent deaths
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Don't ask what any of this has to do with Christmas.
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Today sucks because...
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December 27: National Anniversary Day, Invention of the Artificial Vagina, International Last Thursday of the Year Day
- 42 - 9th anniversary of the first anniversary.
- 1831 - Charles Darwin boards the HMS Beagle, and begins his lifelong mission to undermine God and all that is decent.
- 1954 - Nikita Khrushchev is promptly "dealt with" by the KGB. Long live the glorious Soviet Union!
- 1969 - Boxing Day causes many deaths from internal bleeding as its meaning is misinterpreted.
- 1990 - World Peace War declared on UNO by UNO members
- 1999 - Eye losht thie annyoual seplling be tanks two thie vord anywarsary.
- 2004 - Deciding that he does like Mondays, Chuck Norris kicks Bob Geldoff into tomorrow
- 2005 - 5th anniversary of the universe exploding violently.
- 2007 - Major cleanup after Boxes from Boxing day wipeout half the human population.
- 2008 - King Kong does Eeyore in the honey tree, Donkey Kong is born!
- 2009 - People discover what boxing day is actually about, it is promptly canceled.
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Today's featured artistry
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Poets of the Month
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Modusoperandi hunts down random, unfunny shit which he replaces with less-random, quasi-funny shit. Occasionally he gets up off his ass (or more correctly, sits down on it) and makes a page of his own, to which no one ever goes.
Recently he's been making pictures that people don't like and, having discovered UnNews, has been making fake news stories (rather than the fake regular stories that he normally makes).
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The Bard (baptised 26 April 1564 – died 23 April 1616) was an English poet and playwright widely regarded as the greatest writer of the English language, and the world's preeminent dramatist. He wrote approximately 38 plays and 154 sonnets, as well as a variety of other poems. Already a popular writer in his own lifetime, the Bard became increasingly celebrated after his death and his work adulated by numerous prominent cultural figures through the centuries.
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Congratulations to Hardwick Fundlebuggy, our Poet of the Year, and Mhaille, our Self-harmer of the Year!
Vote for Poet of the Month | Vote for Loner of the Month | Vote for Self-harmer of the Month | Past Losers
Now you only have 4, yes 4 days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting!
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| Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.
This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 41,132 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Em!:
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