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Emopedia
Welcome to Emopedia,
40,291 heart-rending poems in English
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Today's Message of pain
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Loneliness is the dark despair of solitude.
It is the feeling that no one loves me.
Not even my mom or my cat really understand the pain of Teenaged Angst.
No one understands me.
No one loves me.
My family claims that they do, but we all know they're lying.
God, I hate them so much; the fakes.
The only people who love me, The only ones who understand or care
All live in my iPod...
Valentines Day. People are supposed to be happy, right?
I'm not.
Not since she left me.
I guess she found someone more screwed up than I am,
or perhaps he's just more Scene than I, or maybe it's his hair.
It was the best three days of my life, though, with her.
She was so much better than the girl last week.
I let her draw Xs and Cut Lines on my wrists in sharpie.
They're still there, mocking me, reflecting the darkness in my soul.
They are tempting me.
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Did you care...
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*... that 98% of Americans have no idea what they would do in a hypothetical situation?
- ... that there is no consensus among experts on vice presidential history that Al Gore exists?
- ... that 98% of Americans have no idea what they would do in a hypothetical situation?
- ... that there is no consensus among experts on vice presidential history that Al Gore exists?
- ... that 98% of Americans have no idea what they would do in a hypothetical situation?
- ... that there is no consensus among experts on vice presidential history that Al Gore exists?
- ... that 98% of Americans have no idea what they would do in a hypothetical situation?
- ... that there is no consensus among experts on vice presidential history that Al Gore exists?
- ... that 98% of Americans have no idea what they would do in a hypothetical situation?
- ... that there is no consensus among experts on vice presidential history that Al Gore exists?
- ... that 98% of Americans have no idea what they would do in a hypothetical situation?
- ... that there is no consensus among experts on vice presidential history that Al Gore exists?
- ... that 98% of Americans have no idea what they would do in a hypothetical situation?
- ... that there is no consensus among experts on vice presidential history that Al Gore exists?
- ... that 98% of Americans have no idea what they would do in a hypothetical situation?
- ... that there is no consensus among experts on vice presidential history that Al Gore exists?
- ... that 98% of Americans have no idea what they would do in a hypothetical situation?
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Recent deaths
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Today sucks because...
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July 11: International Pull My Finger Day; Fake Fart Appreciation Day (Rural Alabama, Georgia)
 - 1307 – Walter Tell, offspring of the famed archery enthusiast William Tell, pioneered the art of Interpretive Death by creatively expiring after suffering a major crossbow incident.
- 1796 – The United States takes possession of Detroit from Great Britain under the terms of the Jay Treaty. Great Britain immediately regrets this transaction when the Detroit Red Wings win the Stanley Cup in 1798.
- 1804 – Secretary of the Treasury Alexander Hamilton is mortally wounded in a duel with United States Vice President Aaron Burr in the last major political duel before the Political Dueling Edict of 1822 was imposed by the new generation of sissy-boy lawmakers.
- 1859 – A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens is published. Oscar Wilde immediately parodies many of Dickens' concepts in his novel the Picture of Dorain Gray.
- 1864 – The American Civil War does not live up to its name as a Civil War, as pleasantries are barely exchanged before the Battle of Fort Stevens.
- 1925 – Famous monster Oscar the Grouch (pictured) is born in the slums of Sesame Street. He does not earn the added moniker of "Grouch" until he resorts to selling candy to children after bedtime following a long string of hardships.
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Today's featured artistry
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Poets of the Month
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Modusoperandi hunts down random, unfunny shit which he replaces with less-random, quasi-funny shit. Occasionally he gets up off his ass (or more correctly, sits down on it) and makes a page of his own, to which no one ever goes.
Recently he's been making pictures that people don't like and, having discovered UnNews, has been making fake news stories (rather than the fake regular stories that he normally makes).
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The Bard (baptised 26 April 1564 – died 23 April 1616) was an English poet and playwright widely regarded as the greatest writer of the English language, and the world's preeminent dramatist. He wrote approximately 38 plays and 154 sonnets, as well as a variety of other poems. Already a popular writer in his own lifetime, the Bard became increasingly celebrated after his death and his work adulated by numerous prominent cultural figures through the centuries.
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Congratulations to Hardwick Fundlebuggy, our Poet of the Year, and Mhaille, our Self-harmer of the Year!
Vote for Poet of the Month | Vote for Loner of the Month | Vote for Self-harmer of the Month | Past Losers
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This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 40,291 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Em:!:
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