Forum:A Call to Arms, A Call to THINKER

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Alright you fucks. Everyone loves THINKER. This is an established concept. But, how have you shown this love? A Writer of the Year Award that gets me laid constantly? Perhaps. "You're not Thinkerer"? Petty chatroom bullshit! It's time for you to further indulge my ego and show your true colors when it comes to allegiance. Specifically THINKER allegiance. And, it's also a great way for you to keep up with my off-site black market dealings.

The Dictate THINKER's Actions Contest!

That's right bitches. This one is great for the young bucks who joined this freakshow after the grand era of THINKER rule. And also for those old curmudgeonly fucks who were around for it, but seriously resented the time out of sheer jealousy. Both groups can tongue my arsehole. Here's how it works!

1. Anyone and everyone with a Facebook account is welcome to suggest topics for my next Uncyc article. I'm looking for some seriously out-there shit, my sons. I want you to dig deep, delving into those talentless masses you call brains. With this savvy group of degenerates, I have great confidence in the possible responses.
2. In order to have your voice heard and your idea considered, it must be suggested through the Thinker St. James fan group on Facebook. Which means that you will need to join the Thinker St. James fan group on Facebook in order to participate. Having your friends join the Thinker St. James fan group on Facebook would also be a smart move, as you can have them suggest your article topic and increase your chances of winning. Post all possible subjects and suggestions right on the Wall.
3. On October 1st, 2009, RAHB and I will sift through the weighty mass of hogwash you people have suggested and select the top five possible article topics. Those five will be posted here in the VD, where the general public will be able to vote and subsequently choose which subject I will make hilarious.

It's as simple as that. Now GO! JOIN! TAKE IT UP THE ASS FOR SCIENCE!

--THINKER 22:53, 13 August 2009 (UTC)

Who? -OptyC Sucks! CUN22:57, 13 Aug

Some random hobo. ~ 23:10, 13 August 2009 (UTC)

Oh. I've already got enough of those on my Facebooks. -OptyC Sucks! CUN23:11, 13 Aug

Oh you kids and your facebook. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 06:58, 14 August 2009 (UTC)

This is quite possibly one of the stupidest things ever. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 15:25, 14 August 2009 (UTC)

So...you're new here? Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 15:40, 14 August 2009 (UTC)

Nope. THINKER just surpassed himself in stupidity, that's all. And just when you though Bad Shroom was gonna take the title... MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 15:52, 14 August 2009 (UTC)

So....I'm stupid, huh? *taps foot*--Almost Sir Random Crap

Thanks So Far

...to those of you who have posted suggestions. I like the current ones very much, can't wait to see what else you sick individuals have to offer up. --THINKER 00:22, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

Uncyclopedia Stupid-Off!

Three-way brawl between Zheliel, Bad Shroom and THINKER! Winner takes all. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 16:05, 14 August 2009 (UTC)

"Who you callin' a chimp, chump?"

And Out Come the Chimps

Don't join if you don't want to, shit-flingers. However, as I am the king of this mountain, and have, on numerous occasions, glanced the words "THINKER! You should write about [XYZ]!" I thought it only fair for to inject bit of democracy in this world where such a privilege is diminishing on a daily basis. Dexter, as a person who participates in VFD regularly I would've expected some support for the addition of a new, well-written quality article around this sinking ship. No worries; those who are interested will make the contest work. In short, lick my balls and have a good day! :) --THINKER 17:31, 14 August 2009 (UTC)

"THINKER! You should write about Prune Juice!" Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 17:43, 14 August 2009 (UTC)

Anyway, I was just watching this porn, right? Well, the girl hadn't shaved but the guy made a comment about her great pussy, so I thought "That's not a vagina! That's a chimpanzee eating a banana!" MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 17:48, 14 August 2009 (UTC)

Is it weird that that chimp picture just got me nostalgic for Goldeneye? Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 18:03, 14 August 2009 (UTC)

Yes. Yes it is. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 18:28, 14 August 2009 (UTC)

It's madness! Madness, I say! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 18:32, 14 August 2009 (UTC)

I like whole "Thinker writes more articles" part, but I could do without all the other red tape. That said, write about The Best Damn Tape Measure in the World, please. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 05:54, 15 August 2009 (UTC)

These are all valid suggestions, and will be duly considered if suggested through my page. Do it for science! --THINKER 08:15, 15 August 2009 (UTC)

So, let me get this straight. You're asking, on Uncyclopedia, for request for pages for Uncyclopedia, but the requests have to be on Facebook, and we have to join your fanclub to do it? Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 08:57, 15 August 2009 (UTC)

1. Join Group - 2. Suggest Title - 3. I write. I don't see why this is such an outlandish endeavor; Uncyclopedia is essentially my current fanclub, and since everyone has these facebook things, it seems like a logical hopstep. It is very rare for me to write a piece the subject of which is not of my choosing: this is an opportunity for people to have a say in the matter. I'm giving back to the community. --THINKER 16:35, 15 August 2009 (UTC)

4. This is stupid. 5. This is egotistical. 6. Everyone is THINKER's bitch. Even Crazy John. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 16:39, 15 August 2009 (UTC)

To reiterate MO's earlier sentiment, does someone need to post a god damn welcome template? Welcome to THINKERdome, business as usual. And furthermore, everyone is THINKER's friend. Those entering will be dictating my actions, not the other way around. THINKER Von Doom: Man of the People. :D --THINKER 16:55, 15 August 2009 (UTC)

I posted something for you. Staircase CUN^t 16:56, 15 August 2009 (UTC)

"THINKER! You should write about YYZ! - You know, that fucking annoying Rush song." --UU - natter 09:08, Aug 18

Hey! YYZ has probably the best Rush lyrics ever! Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 09:49, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

UU, suggest away (you are already a member, I'm assuming, unless I need to brand you with a hot iron from the THINKER Corral, Waco TX) -- but you expect any Guitar Hero references, you a lost young lad. --THINKER 05:12, 19 August 2009 (UTC)

You liar

I joined, no one has made any suggestions you poor person! --Sir Sunbeam no u F@H KUN 09:06, 19 August 2009 (UTC)

You're just looking at THINKER's posts. Click the little thing that says "Fans only" or something like that. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 22:54, 19 August 2009 (UTC)

It's 1:19am: Have YOU made a suggestion to the Dictate THINKER's Actions Contest? --THINKER 05:20, 20 August 2009 (UTC)

It's 7:20am: No. I refuse to be subjected to the fascist rules of Thinker! Although I did sign up to the facebook group with the intent of doing so.--Sir Sunbeam no u F@H KUN 06:25, 20 August 2009 (UTC)

Hello. I'm RAHB

Evidently I'm judging you all in some form or fashion. Don't take this to mean that I'll actually be any more active on the internet than usual recently. Do take this to mean that I am of the greatest favor in the court of THINKER and that you all are mere peasant scum. -RAHB 07:16, 23 August 2009 (UTC)

All hail! -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 13:04, 23 August 2009 (UTC)

Ah, the warmth. Exactly why I put RAHB in a wig, smack on some lipstick and a dress and parade him around as my wife at family reunions. Aunt Gertrude, this is Robiette. We're expecting. --THINKER 07:11, 24 August 2009 (UTC)

For the record, the wig, lipstick, and dress are the only parts of the disguise. -RAHB 07:26, 24 August 2009 (UTC)

My beard fetish has been long-documented. There is no such thing as shame in THINKERland! --THINKER 19:02, 25 August 2009 (UTC)