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Clock.gif This user has been on Uncyclopedia for
15 years, 5 months and 25 days.

United Kingdom
This user is a total UKer
and will commit murder for a proper cup of tea.
(British Uncyclopedians)
Foolitzer Prize Award Foolitzer Prize Winner June 2009
UnNews Logo Potato.png This user is a reporter for UnNews because they couldn't get a job at a real newspaper.

Salt Lake Flag.png This user is Openly Bisexual.
And is unabashedly proud of that fact.

In the beginning

God created the sun and I was not a part of it. However I am a part of the Half Yard Club, which is like the Mile High Club for those who are afraid of extreme heights, and I have a badge for it which I collected at Cap'n Jaspers. Shortly after receiving this award I decided it would be best to set further goals for myself and joined University and enrolled on a Drama course. Fortunately for me, I joined at the right time and spent the first three months of the course learning how to breath, without these lessons I'm sure I wouldn't be here today; 98% of the class passed this module, with only 2% failing it. I am now at the end of my first year and apart from breathing I am also able to successfully recreate a Birch Tree on stage, next year I will be branching out to other types of tree. I take offense to the idea that all people who take Drama are gay, the fact that I have quite a liberal approach to my own sexuality means I rarely win this argument.
Originally I found this site on the internet over two years ago, I'm unsure how it made its way onto my laptop, however I'm not arguing. I like this site, I like it a lot. The fact that I'm able to contribute in some way, makes me feel very special. I like writing for the UnNews section the most; all of my articles are awful but people have informed me they go less blind if they read the more recent ones. Although I'm British, I don't consider myself to be British, so please don't be afraid to talk to me although I am very afraid to talk to you.

Outside of Uncyclopedia

I don't really have a life since it's the summer holidays now. However, I do do other things apart from Uncyc and you can join me!

  1. Follow me on Twitter
  2. Become my friend on Facebook
  3. See my various writings on Deviantart
  4. Watch my sporadic and spontaneous vlogs on Youtube
  5. Read my blog

Or not. Suggest other internet stuff to me that I could do.

This user has written 35 articles because they like to keep busy while shirking real life responsibilities.
UnNews Articles
  1. Lead - Was a lead article on the main UnNews Page
  2. Second Lead - Was the second leading article on the main UnNews page
  3. Featured Story - Was the feature story on the main UnNews page
HowTo: Articles