User:Ggarfield
my anti-drug
“Пламена ада покроют ваше тело в горящей боли.”
This user may in fact be absolutely rich in Nofu dollars, or may just happen to know the right people. If you have already met him/her with your psychic powers and can find a way to Christianize this user, please do so.
You were whored once by an evil man who has gone from the dark side to the side of goodness. He has ended his whoring ways. he has crawled out of his swamp of depression. He has taken up golf and fishing. He has shaved his face. He has taken a shower. He has eaten breakfast. He has put on a white suit. He has gone back to work. He has gotten engaged. He has taken away the hot picture that used to be here. This template replaces the evil whoring he once did. He is sorry. This message was paid for with positive energy and love
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Whore of the Month December 2007 |
Attention[edit | edit source]
“As far as adopters go, Ggarfield is more "behind the scenes"”
“I may be discreet, but I always keep an eye on my adoptees”
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This user has adopted Tom mayfair. |
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This user has adopted the practice of Fucking lying about who he's adopted. |
6.5 |
This user has written 6.5 articles because they like to keep busy while shirking real life responsibilities. |
 Member of the Order |
 Gun Using Nutcase |
Ggarfield, Le Marquis de Nofu, the man with the golden Nofu[edit | edit source]
Hi I'm Ggarfield, and I like fishing. Trout taste good. I want a Browning Citori. I also like pie. Ok, ok, I get bored of randomness quickly, just like <insert name here>, but lets face it, I'm totally nuts full of inner randomness. I mean,come on, just picture someone who knows more about guns than a Field Officer, can knit a sweater that would not only fit your fat ass you overweight foo YOU, but would win you countless complements from old women, can bake, loves fishing, web development, goes to online school, writes for his school paper, and finally, has a vast knowledge of many types of history. I'm pretty nuts like I said fricken awesome, eh? Furthermore, I like English and Science and shooting clay pigeons and hunting deer and making websites, and now I'm here! Watch out, I will probably have taken over your brain within a number of minutes after reading this!
Bio[edit | edit source]
<insert name here>:If this is a BIO, then what was that?
Ggarfield: Never you mind. Anyway, here's a poetry BIO:
I come from the state of Wisconsin,
The land of the milk and the cheese,
Where God speaks only with cheeseheads,
It's ironic that cheese makes me sneeze.
-Ggarfield
(Adapted from famous colonial rhyme about Boston)
Final Thoughts[edit | edit source]
Seriously, if you want to talk about some article I've written, or just leave me some random award that I wouldn't deserve other than the fact that it means nothing anyway, add (with the +) some talk in the discussion area. Use a subject. If you are an admin, I want you to make my rank more official! It is already very official part of the way there, but you could help. Ask me how.
If you want to feel the love, go find a hooker! go away! I'm cynical, I can't spell without Spellchecker, and I am a member of a select branch of aristocracy known as the Nofu. I'm also notedly funny, and I DO specialize in making fun of the people that love Jesus, by loving Jesus in my own way. Contrary to popular belief, Jesus wasn't funny until I met him, and spiced things up. It spread like wild fire. My religion is Canadianism.
Don't believe it? Check it: Canadian_Jesus and Communist_Jesus
Also try:
Wire tapping - Yeah, it's my favorite
UnNews:FOX NEWS Buys Uncyclopedia - need I say more?
Model 94 Winchester - It's not at all Bad, and it's not entirely mine - I collaborated with user:MaddMax
user:Ggarfield/FDA - This is my latest project still in its fledgling stages. It will be great some day soon!
user:Ggarfield/Order_of_Nofu - The order of Nofu Project will begin shortly
user:Ggarfield/Bank of Nofu - a Bank were we Nofu Aristocrats keep our dough
User:Ggarfield/A Series of Unformal Events - It's an UnBook in the making
UnBooks:The Bootylicious Beginning - it's made!
Once again, thanks! (Or did I even thank you nofus in the first place?)
