User:Ggarfield/FDA

This article is a Work in Progress of sorts. Anything you do to it without permission is probably not appreciated. Vandals will be shot on site with a Model 94 Winchester --Major'GUN' Ggarfield, Le Marquis de Nofu .Complex! 20:21, 5 December 2007 (UTC)

The FDA is an acronym that stands for the Fear of Death Administration. Although the FDA is commonly thought to stand for Food and Drug Administration, this is only one of the many branches of the FDA. The FDA is currently the largest bureau in the in the U.S. Government, employing some 400,000 people, including psychics, communists, automotive repair people, and prostitutes (it's not what you think).

History

The Fear of Death Administration is the oldest bureau of the U.S. Government. In fact, the FDA has its roots some 110 years before the Declaration of Independence, in Massachusetts. Following the Salem Witch Trials of (16??), Massachusetts Governor (???) realized that his constituents needed a greater sense of security from death. He therefore establish the FDA to determine which things were threats to life, and which other things, such as witches, were not.

It quickly became apparent that sub-administrations, known as administrates, were prudent. Examples of early (but now deprecated) administrates include the:

• Fish and Dog Administrative (deemed witch types of fish and dogs were safe for human consumption)

• Fun an Dancing Administrative (decided when, if ever, fun a dancing was safe to practice)

• Faeries and Demons Administrative (determined which supernatural being were life threatening)

Current FDA

The following list must become paragraphs, etc:

• Fagots and Dikes Admin(istrate) - (Yatch, gays and dikes are a plague to American society)

• Foodies and Druggies Admin (danger of French chefs and users)

• Fire and Destruction Admin (God knows what this is.)

• ph|_|ck1|\|6 4nd Dry-Hu/\/\p1ng Admin (agency determining acute dangers of S3x - finds s3x before marriage to be lethal)

• Fascism and Draconian Admin (too much of a good thing can be a bad thing, but does this work the other way around? Muahaha)

• Fuel and Diesel Admin (Gas will be the death of us all)

• Frying and Dunking Admin (researches the dangers of doughnuts and coffee, this Administrative is heavily opposed by all police)

• Firearms and Derringers Admin (So far, firearms and derringers have been found to be completely safe for adults and children aged 6+)

• French and Dutch Admin (Foreigners bad!)

• Fuck a duck Admin (Studies the dangers of Bestiality)

• Funk and Disco Admin (Modern music could be the death of our youth)

Note Co-author: Perhaps parts of this article should be written in a drug-facts format (as in the last list entry above)! I think this article will be really long when we finish (which is good). --Major'GUN' Ggarfield, Le Marquis de Nofu .Complex! 20:21, 5 December 2007 (UTC)