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Begin Part 1[edit | edit source]
You are alloted 15 minutes to read paragraph one. Do not begin paragraph one until signaled to do so by your instructor. If you are not reading this article on a certified Macintosh or Widows OS you are in violation of 412 U.S. 1 and should stop immediately. You may begin reading:
1. Sue walks slows down the green highway.
2. Susana Lee Jones meanders gregariously along the international traffic route of malachite coloration.
3. Susan, that bitch, walked down a fucking green street.
Which of the following above is of the most complex nature? If you answered 1, please refer back to the introduction before attempting to read this again. If you answered 3, you may eligible for a monthly stipend from your local municipality. However, if you answered 2, good job! Please continue to the next question, but not until you have certified that you were not aided by an audio device in the answering of this question.
Paragraph 3[edit | edit source]
Welcome to paragraph two. By entering paragraph two, you have already completed half the first portion of the secondary paragraph. This is where things get tricky. We need you to put your left foot in front of your right foot, raise both arms over your head, and buck like a chicken. Aha, <insert name here>, that is the sound a rooster makes, so you have been caught red handed. Drinking while reading this article is strictly prohibited remember? Hands on your head and get on the ground so we can beat you. Actually, this time we're going to let you go on a technicality, but the technicality is too complex to explain to you. Oh, complexity, that was the idea of this article in the first place. Well, please read on to continue.
Paragraph 2[edit | edit source]
Begin: p a r a g r a p h 3 STOP D e a r M a r y I a m w r i t i n g t o y o u t o r e q u e s t t h e p a y m e n t o f a s e x u a l f a v o u r t h a t y o u h a v e o w e d m e f o r q u i t e s o m e t i m e STOP I w i l l b e w a i t i n g f o r y o u i n t h e d e n a n d I w i s h f o r y o u t o a r r i v e w e a r i n g a t r e n c h c o a t a p i n k b r a a n d n o p a n t i e s STOP I w i l l p r o v i d e t h e b i r t h c o n t r o l STOP
Composite Liturgy 4[edit | edit source]
Your auges have made repose upon paragraph 4. Undoubtedly, your cranial spacial repository has exceeded capacity in regards to writ memorization of knowledge pertaining to the topic at hand. Regardless, your partial absorption of the nuances of said topic could undoubtedly be earmarked for further elongation, but with potentially pernicious effects. That is to say, the very nature of the fundamental projections made by the leading apostolic sociologists could be deemed misleading simply on the grounds of their overuses of overzealous and structurally undercutting verbosity. Quake not, for unscrupulous individuals who attempted to suppress this knowledge have met the ship (as it were, an expression generally stating or otherwise implying expiration of an individual, when in fact it is used as an expression and not a specific statement pertaining to the process of arriving at the same place and time as a vessel used primarily for nautical navigation by several cultures throughout the centuries). Your person and very mortal being, in contrast, has succeeded in the improbable and precarious understudy of said article and is eligible for uncloaking of the final incarnation of the original manifestation of this document.
Paragraph 5[edit | edit source]
Congratulations, you have made it, you have been educated in the nature of complexity without even knowing it (or did you?). You can now receive your certificate for basic knowledge of complexity and complex issues. There will be nothing more in this article that is complex in any way. Honestly. That is because this article is almost over. To receive your certificate, please visit you local DMV, and request form E-15.3. Upon completion of the mandatory vision test, you may be eligible for full certification. If you are unlawfully taking this test, you may have to repeat this test to qualify for full certification. Partial certification is the same as full certification but has less benefits and uses. For more information, please contact your local Post Office, and tell them the secret code phrase: "Urine Spawn Aliens". Don't Panic!