User:Yuri von Juan
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I'm Yuri von Juan, aka Sutoth Indar, aka Weirdo, aka Get Out!. I've been here since early 2006 and loved it. I'm continuing my crusade to gain at least one official Uncyclopedia award which will give me rank, but I am not getting my hopes up.
I am a student at City College Norwich, although I plan to join the army at some point this year to drive and shoot an AS90 mobile artillery. After that I plan to get drunk and throw my guts up on a pavement somewhere.
I try to go on #uncyclopedia, the official IRC channel of Uncyc, as often as possible. There's supposed to be some sort of cabal there, but I haven't seen it.
If you want to talk to me then use my talk page as it's easier than anything else.
This probably applies to you:
My Time Here
So. Here you are. A HowTo on how to kill yourself with a brick.
My God you must be some kind of retard. A brick. I mean, a brick. A sort of squarish building utensil and you're going to use it to kill yourself when you could go out by having a kitten thrown at you, and you're going to kill yourself with a brick. No wonder you don't have any friends.
You don't have any friends
This would be the main reason you're killing yourself with a brick. Because no one likes you, you don't like yourself, ergo you want to kill yourself for being such a bastard. Well. I suppose we'd better go on to step one but before that, you should explain the reason why you are killing yourself with a brick. There are two possible reasons. Select from them or continue living!