~ Dave Chappelle on Skeeting
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Trial & Error
Skeeting, as simple as it seems, is a very difficult task to perform. Some women are more likely to rip off your balls or bite your penis off than to let you skeet on their face. These women are called lesbians and should not be approached by men, for any reason. Other women compare it to being degraded to the level of a Porn star or a 2-bit slut. These women are called insecure-drama queens, and they are the reason behind the high numbers of unwanted pregnancies. They would not know a good time if it shot them in the face. However, some of the women population should be more than willing to let you blow your load on their faces. They understand the importance of skeeting, and the magical bond that it can bring with it.
$ave Your Money
To do this, you are required to actually have sex, which most readers don’t even have a clue as to what sex really is. Some readers consider sex to be masturbation, in hopes that they are protandrous hermaphrodites, so that they can claim that they have scored with the opposite sex. Busting a nut on women’s faces in magazines, or shooting your load on your television screen to cheap midget porn, is not skeeting. Nocturnal emissions on the faces of hot women in your dreams doesn't count either. The best way to learn about skeeting is to sell your video game system, all your Magic© cards, your precious computer, and go rent a prostitute for a day to practice skeeting on her. Stick with the oral services, which is cheaper than the other services provided, to help fund another session for later.
The Importance of Skeeting
It is scientifically proven that semen contains water and small amounts of salt, vitamin D, protein, fructose, botox, and cocaine, while the plasma part contains water and fat-soluble constituents. Women know that the combination of these ingredients create the most potent skin cream and hair conditioner that can be produced. Fortunately for us, man juice does not have its own preservative, so woman are forced to take a few squirts in the face to ensure that they are getting the full volume of vitamins and minerals versus the leading cosmetic brands that use preservatives such as Potassium Sorbate K sorbate, Methylparaben, and Phenonip that ‘’do cause cancer’’. Skeeting is the safest way to keep a woman’s skin wrinkle free and their hair silky smooth for years to come.
Skeeting always comes just seconds before ejaculation. Normally this is done during vaginal intercourse. Vaginal intercourse is accomplished by inserting a dick (not necessarily your own because you’re a loser) into a woman’s vagina. After awhile, the friction will cause the male to ejaculate. Hurry! You only have a few seconds before you empty your sack. Remember, Hurry! Time is of the essence. Pull your soldier out and tell the bitch to get down on her knees. Make sure that you are aiming and let your load go onto the beckoning face. She will thank you later for her radiant skin.
Don't Settle For Less
Skeeting isn’t limited to vaginal sex but can also come as a result of anal sex, titty fucking, handjobs, blowjobs, footjobs, and even prostate milking as long as you make it in time to glaze the woman’s face. For some men (most likely not yourself), two women can be involved in a skeet at the same time. The duo skeet can happen in different ways. The women can take turns at receiving a skeet shot, each can take a squirt at the same time to share in the man nectar, or the man can fuck one woman and let the second woman take the shot and vice versa. In a gang bang, the most likely climax is that every man will skeet on the face of a single woman.
Depending on the definition you were taught, skeeting can be performed on other locations of the female body. The breast are a popular choice during titty fucks. While screwing in the doggie style position, the man will pull out and rest his cock between the ass crack and skeet like a geyser on her back. All these definitions are completely wrong and you must be white to have believed them. Refrain from trying to teach others things that you have no clue about, because you are not helping in the elimination of ignorant white trash people. More than likely, if you have read this entire article, then you are not ever going to skeet on a woman’s face in your miserable life. Women everywhere are getting skeeted by men who are not wasting their time on Uncyclopedia, writing pointless article, spending hours with Adobe Photoshop CS, for the sake of humour. Either that or you are a woman that is taking a break from a skeeting.
Homosexual males can be skeeted on, but I fail to see the importance of going too much into detail in describing the process.