Forum:Welcome feature

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Hey all. There is a new feature being released today on Wikia that you might be interested in. It's a welcomer that automatically does what is currently done manually - gives a welcome message to newbies. There is more info on it here (note that the other new features on that page are for Monaco only so won't affect Uncyclopedia). If you want to use the welcome tool, then all you need to do is change MediaWiki:Welcome-user to turn it on (the page will exist once the feature is live). Let me know if you have questions or need help -- sannse (talk) 09:30, 18 March 2009 (UTC)

But but...that would mean that the welcoming committee will go obsolete...! And link whoring! And Slut list! ~ 09:36, 18 March 2009 (UTC)

Yeah. Plus, we're a friendly wiki (most of the time) - we use the personal touch. And italics - we use them too. --UU - natter 09:48, Mar 18

WE ALSO GO ALLCAPS WHEN WE'RE USING OUR OUTDOORS VOICE. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 10:07, 18 March 2009 (UTC)

Pardon? --UU - natter 10:08, Mar 18

And we can bold our fonts when we really like to make our point. ~ 10:10, 18 March 2009 (UTC)

What about when we're not feeling very assertive? --UU - natter 10:32, Mar 18

One of the things with the welcome message is that a n00b gets a link to a friendly user who is currently logged in and willing to help. Also, having someone check the first few edits of new users (as we should when welcoming) is a dam good idea. Some users also have different welcome messages which they use depending on the situation. MrN 12:11, Mar 18

I don't want newbies to think we are the new machine empire or something. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 10:28, 18 March 2009 (UTC)

Omnius does have some good plans, though. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 10:31, 18 March 2009 (UTC)

Nerd. ~ 10:57, 18 March 2009 (UTC)

And? You won't be so tough when I'm a cymek! Rawr! Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 16:26, 18 March 2009 (UTC)

You mean the current coding wasn't robotic sounding as it is? ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 10:53, 18 March 2009 (UTC)

In the future everyrthing will be run by robots with soothing female voices to cater for all my needs and precious bodily fluids. Has anybody seen my Kleenx box shoes?--Sycamore (Talk) 10:55, 18 March 2009 (UTC)

It sorta doesn't look too impersonal, because it uses the sig of the last active admin... but it's entirely up to you. Any admin can turn this on (and off again), so I'll leave it in your hands or robot claws or whatever -- sannse (talk) 11:34, 18 March 2009 (UTC)

I like to picture the Uncyc entity as having one robot claw and one giant lobster claw. -OptyC Sucks! CUN14:19, 18 Mar

And a boxing glove. And a clown claw. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 16:27, 18 March 2009 (UTC)

And with stomping feet! ~ 16:37, 18 March 2009 (UTC)

I like it! For once! No more link whoring is good. And it can always link to the welcoming committee. And it'll also cut back on the individual templates that look a bit silly. I hate individuality. Also I think new users should always be welcomed by CRUSHERBOT • Spang • ☃ • talk • 00:34, 19 Mar 2009

I dunno, I'm kinda partial to my personal welcome template... - T.L.B. WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 03:43, Mar 19

Rebel. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 03:44, 19 March 2009 (UTC)

I play by my own rules. The chief says he's gonna take me off the case if I can't stop being such a loose cannon. - T.L.B. WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 03:46, Mar 19

If you keep pushing, he'll take away your badge and your gun. Then you won't be bound by rules and red tape anymore. The Rodrigues cartel won't know what hit 'em. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 04:37, 19 March 2009 (UTC)

Yeah, but I need the salary money to pay the child support for my young son, whom I never see because I recently went through a messy divorce! And if I can't pay child support, I'll never get visitation rights and we'll never be able to have awkward conversations that highlight how much we have drifted apart! Then what'll I do? - T.L.B. WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 04:55, Mar 19

The problem, you see, is that you love your job more than you love your kid. Bad for your kid. Worse, for criminals. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 05:36, 19 March 2009 (UTC)

I only keep myself distant to protect them. But am I not, in a sense, also trying to protect... myself? - T.L.B. WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 04:55, Mar 20

This all stems from the "incident" when you were hall monitor. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 04:59, 20 March 2009 (UTC)

Giant  no for only one reason: When you're welcomed by a user, you have at least one username to recognize, one person to turn to if you need help. It gives you more than a bunch of links, it gives you a start, like, hey, I know an active user I can ask questions to now! – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 05:35 Mar 20, 2009

"Dang-blum noobs, always a-botherin' me! I must've been the last active admin, I reckon."

“It sorta doesn't look too impersonal, because it uses the sig of the last active admin...”

~ Sannse on that thing you missed

Yes, jenius, but what if the last active admin doesn't actually want to become n00b bait? And what about the users that want to assist the n00bs? – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 07:25 Mar 20, 2009

Well, I would guess that the last active admin would then be all surly. Look in the mirror. Like that, but without the eyes being so close together. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 07:42, 20 March 2009 (UTC)

“Dam admins. I asked a question, but they don't reply. I know they are logged on cos they sent me a message”

~ Noob

I've sorta had this sorta idea, which may or may not be sorta adopted... what might work is for the feature to be able to select the sign-ee from a list. Then anyone who wants to (admin or otherwise) can join a welcoming committee, and the script would sign with the nick of the last active committee member. That way, the sign-ee would be friendly (or Spang), and currently online, and be doing something else at the same time they are welcoming newbies. Mind you, this would actually negate the benefit of losing the link whoring (if that's a benefit), because whoever is most often the last active committee member would also be the most often used for signing. But this is only an idea for an enhancement atm, dunno if it will be added as an option yet -- sannse (talk) 16:06, 20 March 2009 (UTC)

Oh you. You could set the welcomer thing to not auto-sign anything, but instead put a choose tag at the end of the welcome message that contains the sigs of anyone who wants to be a "welcomer"? Though I don't think you can subst choose tags. • Spang • ☃ • talk • 17:38, 20 Mar 2009

Yeah, one wiki has used choose, so I know it works... not quite as good as the system choosing the last active though. But as choose is possible, I don't think my sooper dooper idea will be adopted. Ah well -- sannse (talk) 10:06, 22 March 2009 (UTC)

Ehh, the welcoming committee is going to become obsolete. Respect them, and give them rights higher than the average user. IT'S BETTER THAT WAY. BETTER!!!!!! S-984 01:40, 24 March 2009 (UTC)

Sannse's way is better. It's about time we knocked those sig-whoring Welcoming Committee frigs down a peg. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 01:43, 24 March 2009 (UTC)

For whatever makes the Welcoming Committee be pointless. --MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 01:49, 24 March 2009 (UTC)

What about watchlists? I have ticked the box so that when I create a new page it goes onto my watchlist. That way if the noob asks a question on their talk page I know to answer it. Also doing this manually gives those who bother to monitor new pages and recent changes more to do rather than just the boring job of reverting bad edits. Encouraging people to keep an eye on recent changes is a good thing I reckon. Also, back in the day when Zombiebaron frequented these parts more he used to insist that vandals not be welcomed. Hopefully if someone does welcome a vandal these days they have the piss taken out of them appropriately. That's good as it forces people to check the noob edits rather than just spamming links. It was also good as people could post the warning welcome template rather than the standard one when a noob might need a poke in the ribs... It's a great idea which Sannse has come up with here, but I'm just not sure the benefits are worth the downside. MrN 23:30, Mar 24

I keep an eye on recent changes simply to see which admin is fucking up at their job at that moment. Usually all of them are. --MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 23:40, 24 March 2009 (UTC)