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Go bother some other Admin.

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Thank

s for your vote on Above Top Secret. And good to meet you (again? If I did it was long ago in a land far away). You are one of the nice legends around here, and as a legend you are required to act legendary and do acts of bravery and honor, saving damsels and smoting dragons and all that. Thanks again! Aleister 14:16 14-4-'12

No problem. A legend, eh? Spacer.gifSpacer.gifPremierTomMayfairChe.png RedPhone.png Unsoc.png Hammer and sickle.png 14:23, April 14, 2012 (UTC)


I never liked you.

And also, you're ugly. Around here, that's saying something. Now, I'm not saying that the people around here are ugly. That would be wrong. What I'm saying is that they are also fat.
In short, what I am trying to say is that I'm a little bitter that the Easter bunnies you gave out weren't the solid kind. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that hollow Easter bunnies, with the candy eye that looks like candy but tastes like cardboard, show that you're a cheap bastard. That would be wrong. What I'm saying is that you're simply a bastard.
And also, you're cheap. And I didn't get one. Even though I delivered your baby. Well, I'm not saying that I delivered you your baby. That would be wrong. What I'm saying is that I delivered you a baby. And I don't know what it was full of, but it certainly wasn't chocolate. Apparently with babies, this is a perfectly normal characteristic. Which, no matter how much the baby giggled when it did it, is pretty gross.
Being a baby must be terrible. All I know is, when I was a baby the only thing that could distract me from the long, empty days of my being a baby was saying to myself, "It could be worse. I could be Tom mayfair." The other babies at the baby ranch agreed. And for Easter we got chocolate Easter bunnies. Solid chocolate Easter bunnies. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 06:49, April 20, 2012 (UTC)

I love you. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Proudly bogan 07:42, April 20, 2012 (UTC)
I love you too. Now, let us dance! /me trips the light fantastic Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 17:02, April 20, 2012 (UTC)

About those things I said earlier...

I realized that the hollow Easter bunny wasn't full of air. It was filled with love. Like air, love is ephemeral, and the harder you try to hold on to it the faster it dissipates. Like love, air eventually turns sour, and takes half your stuff, the house and $1400 a month until the kids turn 18 (Damn you, Brenda!). Like air, love won't reduce the alimony even though you got laid off from your job in the dildo mines (I hate you so much, Brenda!). And love, like air, leaves you breathless and empty when it's gone, making you miss it all the more (I'm in counseling now! Just like you wanted, honey! Come back, Brenda!).
I'm sorry. Can you ever forgive me for my wild, chocolate-fueled rant? Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 14:31, April 22, 2012 (UTC)

Wow, & I thought I had it bad. I don't have to pay alimony but I do pay $650/month in child support. I get to have 'em Wednesday to Friday mornin's every week. Can't wait for the school year to be over. It fucks with my time with 'em. Spacer.gifSpacer.gifPremierTomMayfairChe.png RedPhone.png Unsoc.png Hammer and sickle.png 15:24, April 22, 2012 (UTC)
Sorry to hear that. Have you considered not liking your family?
I should also point out that my children are quite large. And round. Both roly and poly. Imaginary child support goes by the pound. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 16:00, April 22, 2012 (UTC)
Nah, I love my sons. Don't fret. I got a new family goin' on. Knock up this wife so I can repeat what happened with the last marriage. It's the circle of life. Spacer.gifSpacer.gifPremierTomMayfairChe.png RedPhone.png Unsoc.png Hammer and sickle.png 16:10, April 22, 2012 (UTC)
You, sir, are a credit to your trailer park. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 19:43, April 22, 2012 (UTC)

Greetings Komrade

This assembly of the proletariat should be of interest to a Party member such as yourself. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngTue, Apr 24 '12 19:19 (UTC)

UnSignpost Apr 26th 2012

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 00:52, Apr 26

Mr. Mayfair

Could you please lock the forum Forum:Admin of the moment pretty please? Thanks. --ShabiDOO 13:53, May 1, 2012 (UTC)

Sorry, was doin' dishes. YAY Chief. Spacer.gifSpacer.gifPremierTomMayfairChe.png RedPhone.png Unsoc.png Hammer and sickle.png 14:30, May 1, 2012 (UTC)
Did you remember to wear rubber gloves? --ShabiDOO 14:44, May 1, 2012 (UTC)
Nope. Spacer.gifSpacer.gifPremierTomMayfairChe.png RedPhone.png Unsoc.png Hammer and sickle.png 15:02, May 1, 2012 (UTC)
Then your hands must be hot with the texture of a shriveled apple. --ShabiDOO 15:04, May 1, 2012 (UTC)
Aye, my calluses are peelin'. Spacer.gifSpacer.gifPremierTomMayfairChe.png RedPhone.png Unsoc.png Hammer and sickle.png 15:06, May 1, 2012 (UTC)
Dishes are for the proles. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
Today the wife will be doin' 'em. Spacer.gifSpacer.gifPremierTomMayfairChe.png RedPhone.png Unsoc.png Hammer and sickle.png 14:26, May 10, 2012 (UTC)

UnSignpost May 25th, 2012

--EMC [TALK] 00:15 May 25 2012

Bring out your dead! It's the UnSignpost!

--ChiefjusticePS2 10:08, June 14, 2012 (UTC)

Assume the position! it's the UnSignpost!

--ChiefjusticePS2 00:49, June 21, 2012 (UTC)

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--ChiefjusticePS2 08:20, July 5, 2012 (UTC)

We've got a boner for news! It's the UnSignpost!

--ChiefjusticePS2 16:58, July 19, 2012 (UTC)

Get Your UnSignPost! Now More Respected Than The Town Crier!

--OliOmniOmbudsman Dumbo.jpg 15:28, July 26, 2012 (UTC)

No need for eye protection, it's the UnSignpost!

--ChiefjusticePS2 07:13, August 10, 2012 (UTC)

ChiefjusticeDS enjoys buttsex: The UnSignpost!

~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Proudly bogan 08:32, August 23, 2012 (UTC)

Set phasers to frag! It's the UnSignpost!

--ChiefjusticePS2 10:57, September 6, 2012 (UTC)

you

I saw you do something! ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Proudly bogan 02:47, October 21, 2012 (UTC)

  • LIES! LIES I TELL YOU. Spacer.gifSpacer.gifPremierTomMayfairChe.png RedPhone.png Unsoc.png Hammer and sickle.png 11:20, October 21, 2012 (UTC)

Extra! Extra! News that's not new to you!

 ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngTue, Nov 20 '12 9:14 (UTC)

The UnSignpost! Cancel Your Subscription Today!

 ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngThu, Nov 29 '12 5:34 (UTC)

Journalism so yellow it's orange: The UnSignpost

 ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) Beeverpedia.png ~ Thu, Dec 6 '12 13:08 (UTC)

Sloppy, falling-apart, and duct-taped-together: the UnSignpost!

 ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) Beeverpedia.png ~ Wed, Dec 12 '12 14:10 (UTC)

Watch your step! It's a steaming-hot pile of UnSignpost

 ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) Beeverpedia.png ~ Wed, Dec 19 '12 17:39 (UTC)

Drop your pants and grab the eggnog! It's the UnSignpost.

 ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) Beeverpedia.png ~ Wed, Jan 2 '13 13:29 (UTC)

UnSignpost sez, "Give Pease a Chance!"

 ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) Beeverpedia.png ~ Fri, Jan 11 '13 5:32 (UTC)

Unsignpost - 20130119042144 gibberish asdf

~ Pointy.png I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 04:24, 19 January 2013

Unsignpost - 20130124050125 gibberish asdf

~ Pointy.png I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 05:04, 24 January 2013

Unsignpost - 20130131002159 gibberish asdf

~ Pointy.png I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:26, 31 January 2013

Unsignpost - 20130207013217 gibberish asdf

~ Pointy.png I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 01:35, 7 February 2013

Welcome back

We missed you, man... --Revolutionary, Anti-Bensonist, and TYATU Boss Uncyclopedian Meganew (Chat) (Care for a peek at my work?) (SUCK IT, FROGGY!) 01:35, 12 February 2013 (UTC)



It is the day of USP love, Valentine’s Day

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 01:36, 14 February 2013 (UTC)

Crikey! It’s a rare, wild UnSignpost!

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 00:38, 21 February 2013 (UTC)

Surprise, Motherfucker, USP

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 03:54, 28 February 2013 (UTC)

I thought I heard the Imperial March. USP time, everybody!

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 20:37, 7 March 2013 (UTC)

Can I have some salad with my UnSignpost?

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 11:46, 14 March 2013 (UTC)

People like the UnSignpost because it’s hot! It has the best graphics and everything. Marcus, USP! Step yo’ game up!

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 02:29, 21 March 2013 (UTC)

UnSignpost’s BONER TIME!

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 21:55, 28 March 2013 (UTC)

This isn’t an April Fool’s Day Prank! This is the UnSignpost!

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 18:25, 4 April 2013 (UTC)

UnSignpost Time, Folks! I repeat, UnSignpost Time!

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 00:37, 11 April 2013 (UTC)

UnSignpost, late and lazy!

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 01:44, 19 April 2013 (UTC)

The 2 Days Tardy USP!

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 01:08, 27 April 2013 (UTC)

Week-old news two weeks late: The UnSignpost!

-RAHB 04:43, 11 June 2013 (UTC)

UnSignpost is back

Enjoy! IFYMB! Talk to me baby! 10:28 7 July 2013

The UnSignpost: a brilliant new format but less news

The UnSignpost
The Newspaper Whose Mom Said It Was Cool!

Anton (talk) 14:13, 7 August 2013 (UTC)

Hi

Thx 4 bl0ckn User:ZOOMYBRON. Hes evl. k? --The Defender of Light >Grand Warlock Danzathel Aetherwing Inventory 20:18, 30 September 2013 (UTC)

UnSignpost: yet another new format but still less news

The UnSignpost
Reading This Is The Mysterious Second Step To Getting Profit From Stealing Childrens' Underwear!

– Llwy-ar-lawr (talkcontribslogs) 05:08, 5 May 2014Uncyclopedia is a community site that anyone can contribute to. Discover, share and add your knowledge! UncyclopediaUncyclopediaIllogicopediai:fr:LogimalpediePaudurapedyjaFrithchiclipeidUncapaediaAbsurdopediaScotypedia

Pleased to meet you, Comrade. (So you're real, after all.)

Just finished doing some major work on the Rain of Dead Cats, in which you play a starring role ... I kinda wondered about the Tom Mayfair meme; cool to find out the referent's real. Snarglefoop (talk) 13:23, 1 July 2014 (UTC)

Sorry for the delay. Thanks for including me in the game. I'm honoured. I've been quite busy with family care. Again, thank you> Spacer.gifSpacer.gifPremierTomMayfairChe.png RedPhone.png Unsoc.png Hammer and sickle.png

It's back! - The UnSignpost

The UnSignpost
The Free Newspaper Only Two People Started Out Editing, But Now They Want Nothing To Do With!
~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Proudly bogan 09:41, 25 July 2014 (UTC)

Two weeks in a row? A new record! It's the UnSignpost

The UnSignpost
The Only Newspaper That Is Not Controlled By The Cabal Who Are You What Are You Doi- AAAAHHHHH
~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Proudly bogan 23:50, 1 August 2014 (UTC)

Does this look infected to you? It's the UnSignpost!

The UnSignpost
Th-the m-m-most con-confident new-Newspaper in a wh-while
 ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) Beeverpedia.png ~ Fri, Aug 8 '14 12:22 (UTC)

More {{Boner}}s than a ragged Playgirl: It's the UnSignpost!

The UnSignpost
We're delivering it to your door anyways!
 ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) Beeverpedia.png ~ Fri, Aug 15 '14 20:04 (UTC)

We gave The UnSignpost an enema, so now it's regular!

The UnSignpost
The Newspaper Whose Mom Said It Was Cool!
 ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) Beeverpedia.png ~ Fri, Aug 22 '14 2:09 (UTC)

OMG! A WILD USP IS ON THE LOOSE!

The UnSignpost
Telling You Stuff You Already Knew, But With Different Words!

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 03:26, 7 September 2014 (UTC)

Unsignpost delivery attempt numbr hideous implosion

The UnSignpost
Now with 20% more ninjas!

Brace Yourselves, The UnSignpost is Coming!

The UnSignpost
The Newspaper Made Entirely From Recycled Internet Memes

The USP is coming for you! (and your little dog too)

The UnSignpost
The Newspaper That Replaces Analysis With Flashy Graphics!

Excuse me, sir, do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, the USP?

The UnSignpost
Good things come to those who wait. So does the UnSignpost.

dicks lol: It's UnSignpost time!

The UnSignpost
83.54% more reliable than The Daily Mail

The UnSignpost is back, baby! (And also a little bit of front)

The UnSignpost
Because if the rumors don't spread at the salon, we must spread them in the news.

Vote, Vote, Vote

It's that time of the year again! We're going to be showing off our Top Ten Articles of 2014 soon but so far, very few people have voted. It's all up to you to decide what's the best of the best! Go to Forum:Top 10 Articles of 2014 and vote now! --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 02:22, 30 January 2015 (UTC)

UnSignpost Home Delivery for May 1st, 2021

The UnSignpost
The Newspaper That Won't Tell Everyone That You Wet the Bed! Oops...

It's beginning to look a lot like…

See you next year! The first annual *Kiss My Ass* Holiday Competition has officially ended for 2021

Santakitty.gif

Up for grabs is the coveted Clark Griswold Award for Holiday Cheer. Who will be crowned Holiday Victor?
Judgement day is upon ye!

Seasons Greetings!

It's that special time of year. A wonderful time for friends and family to rejoice in gaiety. Not you! You usually spend all of your hard-earned money on gifts for them, and now you just want to hibernate until your finances recuperate. Well, here at Uncyclopedia, entering our newest competition won't cost you a penny Sign Up Today! (pretty please)  – Zana Dark  talk to me  AJTA (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN GUN DUN 13:13, 13 December 2021

Merry Christmas and all that jazz

Santa Baby…

I heard that you were single again, well then—we should hook up real soon. Santa baby, Facebook me and give me some likes.
Santa cutie, Snapchat me and send me some pix, not dicks—but if you want, I don't mind. Santa cutie, favorite me on Instagram.
Slide into my chat DMs—add me to your list and we'll be more than friends. I'll follow you on Twitter too, and this Christmas won't be quite so blue.


Santa baby, I saw you had a Tinder and I swiped right—found your Bumble account. Santa baby, Match with me so we can Meetup.

Santa honey, if you call me up on the phone—we'll bone. I won't play hard to get. Santa baby, do you have white hair down there?
Santa baby, you don't have to wear a condom, come on—we can play 'Just the Tip'. Santa baby, even if it's just for one night.
I haven't been with lots of men—but last time I got laid he said I was a ten. I'm sure that we could have some fun—if you work out and don't weigh a ton.


Santa baby, don't forget the presents this year—like beer, or perhaps some good wine. Santa baby— let's get drunk, Netflix and chill…Here's a hundred dollar bill?..I'm on the pill…

 – Zana Dark  talk to me  AJTA (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN GUN DUN 19:20, 24 December 2021