Editor

Caricature of a typical editor. (Most editors refuse to have their picture taken.)

An editor is the job description of somebody who couldn't make it as a writer, and instead, has been forced to a life of editing other's work. Most editors die young due to their tendency to commit suicide after a brief realization that their field of work is about as rewarding as a finger up the ass (which can be rewarding to some). 97% of suicides committed by people over the age of 30 are editors.

Ways editors do suicides

• Shooting themselves in the head with bullets
• Defenestrating themselves (Video on YouTube)
• Jumping into a woodchipper
• Stabbing themselves

The majority of these suicides in the past few years happened in Munich.

Editors in a nutshell

Contemporary editors are very closed-off people in contrast to editors in the 1700s, who were notorious for their ability to get along with others in the workplace. This is most likely due to the fact that back then they would have been happy servicing a horse for a living.

Editing in the 19th and 20th centuries was rough. It consisted of actually reading the material, and then giving feedback to the author. Nowadays this is optional. Most editing today is in the form of a spellcheck, and the term "editor" really is just the title of the person who answers letters from readers. On occasion editors will actually edit, but it's a horrible existence.

Few jobs are worse than being an editor. Even postmen scoff at the idea of being editors. A lot of editors dream of a better life or becoming famous. In reality, nobody becomes famous from being an editor. The closest any editor gets to actual fame is having their name in the credits of a magazine or newspaper.

Uncyclopedia editors

When editors off themselves their souls drift onto the Internet. The anxious stay in their e-mail inbox, afraid of missing a single message; the vain roost in the comment section of their blog and spend an eternity removing spam; and the bored come to Uncyclopedia and make a bunch of funny ha-ha.

IP editors

Are IP editors souls of human beings or are they bananas? This question has long puzzled scientists and laymen alike. After years of field study, sarcastic mathematical linguists have determined that IP editors are most likely professors who don't want to register for another website and clog up their email notifications. This conclusion was interpreted with fanfare, but extra care must be taken when extrapolating to sites outside explain xkcd.

See also

• Purgatory
• Nobody cares