User talk:Bill Melater

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UnSignpost Home Delivery
The periodical without any junk in its trunk!
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Contents

Yo wazzap![edit]

Due to a cascade of 'offline' events which coincided eerily with the launch of the new Uncyc, I haven't been feeling particularly funny of late. But this morning I woke up with the faintest, barest glimmering intimation of a possible hint that I may in fact be funny again at some point in the not too distant future. I should begin contributing again as soon as I've successfully distinguished my ass from elbow. --Bill Melater (talk) 08:17, 27 January 2013 (UTC)

We need funny people. Be. Funny. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Proudly bogan 08:21, 27 January 2013 (UTC)
What he said, Bill. Seriously. SHANE COME BACK ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngTue, Jan 29 '13 2:17 (UTC)
Lets see...this HAS to be my ass, and I'm pretty sure this right here is my elbow. Yes, that's it.Phew! Glad that's settled. Ok I think I'm back.--Bill Melater (talk) 09:21, 30 January 2013 (UTC)

Unsignpost - 20130131002159 gibberish asdf[edit]

~ Pointy.png I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:22, 31 January 2013

Winner![edit]

Foolitzer Prize Award Foolitzer Prize Winner January 2013

Good job!--Sir Peasewhizz de New York 20:47, 1 February 2013 (UTC)

Thanks everybody! :-)--Bill Melater (talk) 08:48, 3 February 2013 (UTC)

Unsignpost - 20130207013217 gibberish asdf[edit]

~ Pointy.png I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 01:32, 7 February 2013

Done[edit]

Looks like somebody beat me to it. :D  ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngFri, Feb 8 '13 1:59 (UTC)

It is the day of USP love, Valentine’s Day[edit]

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 01:31, 14 February 2013 (UTC)

Crikey! It’s a rare, wild UnSignpost![edit]

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 00:32, 21 February 2013 (UTC)

Boo, Bill![edit]

Come back, Bill! Goddamnit, come back! ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngFri, Feb 22 '13 23:58 (UTC)

I know, I know, but I started taking a Finnish class Monday to Friday, and now I barely have enough time and energy left over to wack off, let alone stay focused and coherent long enough to crank out an article. But I miss it! I'm going to try to extrude something vaguely amusing over the weekend.
You should totally "get into" either the Happy Monkey competition (which is coming up next month) or the Poo Lit Surprise (coming up the month after), where you can actually WIN CASH MONEY! YES, YOU! CAN! WIN! Or some such. I really do think you're one of our best new writers. You could totally win something. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngWed, Feb 27 '13 2:21 (UTC)
OH SHIT BILL you're learning finnish? OH YEAH! OH YEAH!!! That's awesome! No, awesomer than awesome! Good luck with learning! Cat the Colourful (Feed me!) Zzz Zzz...morning? 13:28, 11 April, 2013 (UTC)
Yeah, there are like three who still know how to speak Finnish and we're all here. Anglisms and other shit have ruined our cultural heritage so we're now on Uncyclopedia to ruin it for the rest of the world. -- Style Oranssiviiva.jpg Guide 16:53, 1 May 2013 (UTC)

Surprise, Motherfucker, USP[edit]

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 03:47, 28 February 2013 (UTC)

I thought I heard the Imperial March. USP time, everybody![edit]

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 20:33, 7 March 2013 (UTC)

Can I have some salad with my UnSignpost?[edit]

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 11:39, 14 March 2013 (UTC)

People like the UnSignpost because it’s hot! It has the best graphics and everything. Marcus, USP! Step yo’ game up![edit]

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 02:24, 21 March 2013 (UTC)

UnSignpost’s BONER TIME![edit]

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 21:51, 28 March 2013 (UTC)

This isn’t an April Fool’s Day Prank! This is the UnSignpost![edit]

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 18:21, 4 April 2013 (UTC)

UnSignpost Time, Folks! I repeat, UnSignpost Time![edit]

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 00:33, 11 April 2013 (UTC)

UnSignpost, late and lazy![edit]

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 01:33, 19 April 2013 (UTC)

The 2 Days Tardy USP![edit]

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 00:59, 27 April 2013 (UTC)

Week-old news two weeks late: The UnSignpost![edit]

 ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) Beeverpedia.png ~ Tue, Jun 11 '13 2:29 (UTC)

UnSignpost is back[edit]

And enjoy the news! Anton (talk) 17:40, 6 July 2013 (UTC)

The UnSignpost: a brilliant new format but less news[edit]

The UnSignpost
Now Delivered Trendily Late!


Anton (talk) 14:14, 8 August 2013 (UTC)

UnSignpost: yet another new format but still less news[edit]

The UnSignpost
Reading This Is The Mysterious Second Step To Getting Profit From Stealing Childrens' Underwear!


– Llwy-ar-lawr (talkcontribslogs) 03:49, 5 May 2014Uncyclopedia is a community site that anyone can contribute to. Discover, share and add your knowledge! UncyclopediaUncyclopediaIllogicopediai:fr:LogimalpediePaudurapedyjaFrithchiclipeidUncapaediaAbsurdopediaScotypedia

In case you're still alive...[edit]

Please come back to Uncyclopedia soon or we are coming after you for child support. --EMC [TALK] 16:29 Jun 7 2014

It's back! - The UnSignpost[edit]

The UnSignpost
Telling You Stuff You Already Knew, But With Different Words!

~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Proudly bogan 08:48, 25 July 2014 (UTC)

Two weeks in a row? A new record! It's the UnSignpost[edit]

The UnSignpost
Woop Woop! it's the sound of the Police UnSignpost!

~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Proudly bogan 22:34, 1 August 2014 (UTC)

Does this look infected to you? It's the UnSignpost![edit]

The UnSignpost
Sucking Journalism's Fat Wang. Badly.
 ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) Beeverpedia.png ~ Fri, Aug 8 '14 12:18 (UTC)

More {{Boner}}s than a ragged Playgirl: It's the UnSignpost![edit]

The UnSignpost
Telling You Stuff You Already Knew, But With Different Words!
 ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) Beeverpedia.png ~ Fri, Aug 15 '14 20:13 (UTC)

We gave The UnSignpost an enema, so now it's regular![edit]

The UnSignpost
The Newspaper 4 out of 5 Dentists Agree On!
 ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) Beeverpedia.png ~ Fri, Aug 22 '14 2:14 (UTC)

OMG! A WILD USP IS ON THE LOOSE![edit]

The UnSignpost
All your readers are belong to us

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 02:40, 7 September 2014 (UTC)

Unsignpost delivery attempt numbr hideous implosion[edit]

The UnSignpost
Telling You Stuff You Already Knew, But With Different Words!


Brace Yourselves, The UnSignpost is Coming![edit]

The UnSignpost
All your readers are belong to us


The USP is coming for you! (and your little dog too)[edit]

The UnSignpost
The edition that's black and white and dead all over


Excuse me, sir, do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, the USP?[edit]

The UnSignpost
Reading This Is The Mysterious Second Step To Getting Profit From Stealing Childrens' Underwear!


dicks lol: It's UnSignpost time![edit]

The UnSignpost
You'd be crazy not to listen!


The UnSignpost is back, baby! (And also a little bit of front)[edit]

The UnSignpost
The Newspaper With Love In Every Paragraph!


Vote, Vote, Vote[edit]

It's that time of the year again! We're going to be showing off our Top Ten Articles of 2014 soon but so far, very few people have voted. It's all up to you to decide what's the best of the best! Go to Forum:Top 10 Articles of 2014 and vote now! --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 02:23, 30 January 2015 (UTC)

UnSignpost Home Delivery for May 1st, 2021[edit]

The UnSignpost
The Newspaper With No Ambitions, Goals, Hopes or Dreams!