Portal:Religion
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Hey, kids, wanna hear something cool?! Listen up, 'cuz we're gonna talk about the coolest guy that ever lived...Jesus!
I'll bet you think the Bible is boring, right? Wrong! The Bible is the coolest Book ever written, and I can prove it! Did you know that the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles helped save Noah's Ark during the Flood?! Or that Jesus rode a velociraptor into Jerusalem!? Or that robots from the future tried to stop David from defeating Goliath!? Well, it's all right here, in the New Cooler Edition of the Holy Bible!
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| Todd Lyons |
Q: What did Jesus mean when He said the meek will "inherit the earth"? Am I supposed to be doing something to prepare? If so, what? — T. L.
A: First of all it's important to realize you are not alone in your worry. As you probably well know, it was during His Sermon on the Mount that Jesus said: "Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth" (Matthew 5:5).
This has caused no shortage of anxiety on the part of the meek, who are given to being rather squeamish in the first place.…
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"Yeah, dat's me, Fadda Murphy. Check out my prince duds and Jew cap."
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Quote of the Week
“It's only a comedy because people get submerged in dung.”
– Dante on The Divine Comedy
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EARTH, Sol System -- The Rapture, long awaited by people who don't want to hang around to see how it all turns out, finally occurred this morning, catching even the most militant biblical literalists by surprise. At approximately two o'clock (GMT), various body parts of pious citizens across the globe simply disappeared.
"Yeah, my bad." apologized the archangel Michael at the post-Rapture press conference. "It's a numbers thing, you see. We'd initially planned for 144,000 male Jewish virgins 'plus guest'..."…
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