Portal:Religion

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal
By far the holiest portal you will ever find.
Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded man in the sky that flies around granting wishes, but there are some variations.
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The Attack of the 500-foot Jesus will begin on a Tuesday, not far from the Independence, Missouri bus stop you normally pass on your way to work. At approximately six seconds past six minutes past six hours into the day (that's 06:06:06, derived from the number of the beast), 500-foot Jesus will rise from the depths of a nearby underground train station, cracking the ground as He rises up. He will carry two train carriages all the way to downtown Kansas City; the carraiges which will then be thrown into the two tallest buildings in the vicinity.…

Archive Article credit: 82.44.178.30 (more…)


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AFM, the magazine for "True Christians™", was formed to cater to the needs of the modern biblical fundamentalist [1].

By "modern" they mean "well before the Enlightenment", or as it says at the top of the Editor's page, "Because God Loved the Dark Ages".

The publishers of AFM felt that the views of America's oppressed Christian majority weren't getting out, so the magazine was started just for them.…

Archive Article credit: Modusoperandi (more...)
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Cheese Jesus

Jesus loves Wisconsin, as seen in the movie Dogma.

Nominate stuff Image credit: Zana Dark Image archive


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Quote of the Week

“It's the smart way to get out.”

Oscar Wilde on Jehovah witness protection program
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Highlighted News

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BRISTOL, England - George Fasarta, the Bristolian who claimed to have found God, has been charged with ‘Wasting Police Time’ by local police. Excitement spread all around the Christian world last week, as it was reported that Fasarta, a 42-year-old baker from the north of the city, had definitely located the Almighty who had been missing/presumed dead for almost 2000 years. But now police say they believe Fasarta was simply an attention seeker who repeatedly changed his story.…

Archive Article credit: Matt lobster (more...)
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More Religious News

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Further Reading

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Did You Know...

good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
Zoroaster drives Uhuru's Mazda?
good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
Jew souls are made out of bucky balls?
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