Kansas City

Kansas City, Kansas and/or Missouri, is best known for BBQ and Jazz. BBQ and Jazz were invented simultaneously on 18th & Vine when some guy named Mo tried to play the saxophone while cooking a heifer.

Kansas City celebrated its centennial with the motto: "One Hundred Years of Crime". The median household income is 2 cents per year.

Religion

Kansas City is 50% Baptist, 12% Catholic, 6% Methodist, 3% Pentecostal, 3% Latter-day Saint, 3% Lutheran, 1% Unity and 1/8th Satanist.

Geography

Kansas City is the only city in the United States with dual state citizenship. As a result, every inhabitant of Kansas City is required by law to have two separate driver's licenses, two separate social security numbers, and two separate biological parents; one for each state. The city is split three ways at the junction of the Missouri River and the Kansas River, which further confuses matters. The eastern part of the city houses all of the best opera houses and major sports teams and Oriental restaurants, while the northwestern part is subject to frequent tornado activity and rabid bovine attacks. The little-known southwestern quarter (lying on the southern bank of the Kansas River) is a desert wasteland infested with impoverished native-American Shawnee who are still resentful over losing title of their luxury condominiums in their native Oklahoma panhandle during an ill-advised poker tournament in 1997.

Tourist attractions

There are many sites to see, including fountains, tornadoes, and the site of the beginning of the Santa Fe, California, and Oregon Trails, which is basically just some dirt.

Famous people

Mickey Mouse, that one guy, some other people.

Education

In 2016, the students in Kansas City, MO, received the worst scores in the state, while their teachers got the worst marks in the nation on their teacher tests. The superintendent of the schools is changed every year, but to no avail. Kansas City maintains many colleges and libraries anyway.