Portal:Religion

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
(Redirected from Worship)
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Uncyclopedia Portals: Art · Business · Culinary · Games · History · Music · People · Politics · Religion · Science · Society · Technology · All...
Comedy · Film · Gay · Literature · Pregnancy · Television · Theatre · Video Games (Mario) · Zoology
Holy-potato.jpg
Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal
By far the holiest portal you will ever find.
Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded man in the sky that flies around granting wishes, but there are some variations.
edit 

Highlighted Article

Oldmanandboy.jpg

Come here little grandson, and pull up a chair, ol' grandpa has to say something to you. What story am I going to be telling this time? Hah ha, no story tonight, Jimmy, I'm going to lecture you on something very important. It's time to learn about a little subject called "filial piety". Don't start fussing now, it's a very important subject to learn about when squirts like you start to grow up.

What is filial piety, Grandpa?

I was just about to get into that, Jimmy. Filial piety is a simple enough concept, often embraced by popular religions such as Confucianism and Christianity. Now, you're Christian but you don't know what filial piety is, right?…

Archive Article credit: TKF (more…)


edit 

Highlighted Entity

Billy-graham.jpg
Todd Lyons

Q: What did Jesus mean when He said the meek will "inherit the earth"? Am I supposed to be doing something to prepare? If so, what? — T. L.

A: First of all it's important to realize you are not alone in your worry. As you probably well know, it was during His Sermon on the Mount that Jesus said: "Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth" (Matthew 5:5).

This has caused no shortage of anxiety on the part of the meek, who are given to being rather squeamish in the first place.…

Archive Article credit: [[User:|]] (more...)
edit 

Highlighted Image

Cheese Jesus

Jesus loves Wisconsin, as seen in the movie Dogma.

Nominate stuff Image credit: Zana Dark Image archive


edit 

Quote of the Week

“Eh, it's fine, really. No big deal. I'm not offended.”

God on Apatheism
edit 

Highlighted News

Visibleman.jpg

EARTH, Sol System -- The Rapture, long awaited by people who don't want to hang around to see how it all turns out, finally occurred this morning, catching even the most militant biblical literalists by surprise. At approximately two o'clock (GMT), various body parts of pious citizens across the globe simply disappeared.

"Yeah, my bad." apologized the archangel Michael at the post-Rapture press conference. "It's a numbers thing, you see. We'd initially planned for 144,000 male Jewish virgins 'plus guest'..."…

Archive Article credit: Modusoperandi (more...)
edit 

More Religious News

edit 

Further Reading

edit 

Did You Know...

 good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
 Jesus Christ really hated sand?
 Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
 God is pissed off?
edit 

Topics Needing Expansion