UnNews:Category

• Today is Obvious Day
• Aerosmith stripped of Gold
• Uncyclopedia Reaches New Milestone
• East Antarctica breaks off, Americans still don't care
• Comedian stumbles around for appropriate Ted Kennedy joke, fails
• UnBooks used as toilet paper, angry UnBook lovers mob
• Hillary Clinton drops out, endorses Barack Obama
• Pirates looking forward to Steelers' training camp
• Katrina Was Wake-Up Call for Preparation-H
• Paris Hilton announces the muffin shop is closed.
• Uncyclopedia releases version 0.5 on DVD
• Falwell to Reincarnate as Flaming Poof
• Obama plays golf, as the nation falters
• Scientist ran out of hurricane names
• How Irish was your St Patrick's?
• David Bowie to Meet Martian Delegation
• US Military to go green
• Woman held in contempt for farting in courtroom
• Man Cuts Off Leg To Be Featured in UnNews
• TZOD UPDATE: The last update
• Oogle turns 0!
• Saudi Arabic guy says "Mickey must die"
• Hurricane Evacuees' Trailer Explodes
• Chocolate Bar photographed by NASA
• Battletoads rereleased due to overwhelming demand
• Chesnut Wins Flesh Eating Contest
• SEGA to create M-Rated Sonic Game for 35th Anniversary
• Rapture conman hung from jackass tree by disgruntled fucktards
• Will chocolate boobs catch on?
• Logan Paul under investigation for murder amid suicide scandal
• Bush Loses Lucky Penny
• NBA Doc charged with unlawfully treating pros
• Pig Mask Army Has taken over China
• Lake Chad Shrinks--Citizens Say They're Just Pretty Thirsty
• This year's Oscar winners
• New archaelogical evidence indicates existence of "Fresh Prince"
• Conspiracy theorist needs media outlet
• Gay alien clown from outer space invades Earth, demands pancakes. Millions feared dead.
• Some guy dies, people sad
• Golden Girls Star Dies, No One Is Surprised
• Police raid gun shop; find guns
• Canadian Election.... Wooooo!!!!
• Buckingham Palace converted to Spirit Halloween Store
• Tom Cruise to sign for Real Madrid
• Grinch steals all civic holidays, Whos celebrate regardless
• President not eaten by grue
• NYC Evicted from Ground 0
• Irish Republican Army to ascend into Heaven
• Fox "Restructures"
• Terrorist: All Your Hotels are Belong to Us.
• Timmy accused of having cooties
• Tomorrow's Headlines ... Today
• French Rioters Come To Antarctica
• Israel to cancel North
• There Is No Cabal
• Speeding Cyclists Go On Rampage
• Spectre backs U.S. Chief Justice Nominee Roberts
• ED's new reskin rakes in the lulz
• Man confirms time
• The Flying Purple People Eaters and what YOU can do to stop them!
• Uncyclopedia user successfully contributes to UnNews
• Another goth killing! When will it end?
• World Powers Await Iran's Report Card
• Pauly Shore lands title role in major production of "Waiting for Godot"
• Jay Leno's chin falls off
• New Zealand complains that they are NOT on the world map
• Broccoli voted best vegetable ever, food critics revolt
• Ne-Yo turns off the radio
• President Bush vetoes kitten-huffing bill
• Leeds melts thanks to 188 degree C heatwave
• Isle of Ynys Llanddwyn seeks restitution for Mesozoic vowel movement
• Al Sharpton and the KKK both report having a fantastic wank today
• Scientists Discover Canadian Bacon is Actually Ham
• EA introduces NBA Fight Night '07
• Queen to burp national anthem
• The Backyardigans are now castaways
• Apple purchases exclusive rights to lowercase "I"
• Mayans: 'Made ya look!'
• UnMascot Contest
• NFL player becomes openly gay
• PBS Kids debuts disruptive lower third logo
• Pigeon and Monkey to wed, Flying Monkeys now inevitable
• New member of the meat family
• And the Mays is gone!
• Ofcom Launches Complaints Investigation
• New York State allows students to swear at teachers
• Kitten confesses to killing
• International Women's Day - a plea
• YouTube sued by Google, YouTube says "WTF?!"
• Beijing Olympics Declared: No. 1 Olympics Ever
• YouTube restricting views on popular videos by smaller channels
• New planet discovered and explored
• Clinical depression at an all-time low!
• Wikipedia finally sued by Uncyclopedia and Encyclopedia Dramatica for plagiarism
• NASA to install Prius engine on Space Shuttle
• Mauve stan protests against Cerulean after 2000 Colour of the Year PTSD
• USA completes phase 2 of Iraq war
• Iran claims to be first to invent Nuclear Think Tank
• Tom Cruise and what's her faces baby some kind of retard or something
• Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump
• Zimmerman shot black kid and became obese to be a cop
• San Diego, California Prepares for Annual 'Festival of Boobies'
• Forest animals seen singing, dancing after Koch brother dead
• Geographically Confused Russians Invade U.S. State of Georgia
• Chipmunks on crack more productive than Uncyclopedians
• Mumbai: The party gets pooped
• Google blunders over D-day doodle
• Evansville to install wireless sewer system
• God's cronies captured
• Large hadron Collider creates an "Asshole"
• Cunt flashers on the loose
• Game studio under fire after child drops popsicle
• UnComics UnHoroscopes UnWeather UnMagazine/UnFunnies
• Global Warming rapes woman
• Sam Smith's family thank fans
• Pope Benedict XVI complements Islam, jihad
• TV Listing : New Series - The Pedo Files
• Scooby-Doo Robbed at Gunpoint in London
• Pirates take illegal dump off the coast of Africaland
• Toaster PWNs Local Inventor
• Recently discovered "blob" the biggest thing in the universe
• Getting oiled-up fails to make seabird more attractive to females
• USA "Underwhelmed" by prospect of Beckham
• China Bans Olympic Results
• Bloomberg steps down
• Queen sends first tweet
• Bush vows to make change
• Rebels decide not to target air base in Syria
• MIB International soundtrack to be replaced
• Occupy protesters closer to developing nuclear weapons
• MP Claims Cost of Own Conception on Expenses
• Spain suspended after row between powers
• Mobile Phones to be considered as weapons
• All kickers and punters gay, says linebacker
• Man Sues Internet; Gives Son Access To Inappropriate Material
• Wiccanpedia casts a spell, fails miserably
• Travolta blames mispronunciation on Thetans
• Even Stevens star Tom Virtue still waiting for Breaking Bad style role
• "The fights have passed", says Rodrigo Maia in his farewell
• The Loch Ness Monster: New Scientific Discovery!
• UnNews bulletins reported to be untrue
• Generals, Admirals living the good life, sponsored by Uncle Sam
• Donkey Kong opposes Iraqi Conflict
• Wikipe-tan's Attack
• Man watches back iPhone videoed Beyonce Concert
• Trump responds to statues
• New Night Rider star to brush up on singing
• Bond Cat dies of Catnip Overdose
• Sex considered to be 2nd most pleasurable activity
• Israel Executes 203 Palestinian Prisoners
• Osaka bin Laden claims responsibility for cruise ship killer ‘mystery waves’
• Cold War reached ISS
• Image of Anna Nicole Smith found in peanut butter
• Unspecified Monster on rampage just wants love
• Airstrike accidentally kills a baker's dozen of Afghan police
• Congress Debates Porn Industry Bailout
• 114514 Gays raped in Japan by Beastly Senior
• Terrorists endorse Nancy Pelosi
• Israel: This is going to work
• Sony announces new Deth-Ray recording technology
• Man killed by Trouser Snake Again
• McCain to announce VP via tin can and string
• 1 dead, 30 injured, 5 rednecks
• Barack Obama is Robert Downey Junior
• Chris Cornell dies at age 52
• Shady people become your friends
• Mormons seem to be OK with fudgepacking
• James Bond fan changes his name to include all 21 film titles
• Excitement at digging up dead woman's grave
• Bernie endorses Biden, who is seen clawing at air and drooling after instinctively sensing pussy
• Lightweight Car made entirely of airbags in place of body
• French pensioners riot
• FBI leaks private information about Julian Assange just to see how he likes it
• Australia Declares War On Antarctica, Carrot Juice
• Whatsapp eggplant emoticon rarely used correctly
• Domino's introduces Hubble Deep Field Dish Pizza
• Colarado fine
• IPhone infuriates zealots, big hit among time travelers.
• Neil Young has been kidnapped by the Catholic Church
• Man has bad picture taken of him
• It's still not okay to Pull Your Penis out in Public
• Saddam Hussien is found guilty of the murder of Nicole Brown Simpson
• Obi-Wan Kenobi sued by Carls Jr.
• Kim Kardashian Starts Rebellion Over Milkshakes in Bahrain
• Wikia exposed as a fraud, cash funneled to offshore banks, Cabal suspected
• Uncyclopedia Admin Votes Against Yet Another Quality Article in VFH
• Line-of-duty boogies decline
• Ted Haggard declared "completely heterosexual"
• Let us rethink this butt poop hysteria
• Arizona medical pot vote picks up steam
• Scooter Libby takes up Smoking
• Insane Tramp turns out to be Billionaire
• Bitchless men and pick me girls are now saying "your body my rules" in order to cope with no parental attention
• Osama Bin Laden's body found in Bikini Bottom
• Chelsea Clinton names daughter Monica
• Saddam execution to be released on special edition DVD
• Vader attempts to soften his image
• RBS redundancies
• Johnny Chan successfully reads Lady Gaga's poker face
• Usher booed off stage
• Siamese Twins Announce They're Gay
• Idaho woman booked after ‘sleep shagging’
• Greece 'should have been invaded by now'
• Various Kids With Pumped-Up Kicks Successfully Outrun My Bullet
• 9 out of 10 IPAs 'are Budweiser'
• Lostprophets advertise for new singer
• My Toast Went Missing
• UnConsortium launches dating prep for H-games
• President Bush announces new heating cost savings plan
• Man Wins Lottery by Using Numbers from "Lost"
• Gregg Allman dies at 69
• Facebook's Mark Zuckerberg eats only what he picks
• Broadcasts
• Virginia Tech notes that 22,261 students were not shot dead
• Pope says gays are destroying rainforest
• Rabbi, Priest defend simultaneous visit to bar
• Patriots defiant over inflate-gate
• Will Smith alleges racism and leaves Hollywood
• Ayy mon, they be da Hurricane in Jamaica!
• Nyan Cat, Still Going Strong
• Celtics coach denies making gay joke
• Hezbollah baffled by Israel's response
• Oprah, Bono feud over who's gooder
• Russian Invasion of Ukraine
• New York magician David Blaine to be filled with custard and fired into space
• Toronto voters 'to get help'
• Sinister Fog aids local Vampire in escape
• N. Korea and USA to settle differences on X-Box Live
• Livedoor blows up TSE
• Pun Intended
• Ahmadinejad Plans Foiled Again
• No One Understands Local Teen
• Christmas week Mime arrests up
• New jellyfish discovered, public unimpressed
• Oldest man in history chokes on ping pong ball
• Michael Jackson Dead at 50, blah, blah, blah
• Colorado, the trampolining bear
• Jim Cantore going to Florida
• Tiger Woods out for rest of 08; cites lack of challangers
• K-pop supports BTS
• Mugabe Attacks "Gay" Mr Tsvangirai
• GOD! to Judge Western Leaders. Smiting Imminent
• Rodman in third KKK visit
• Latest Narcissism Wave Grips Los Angeles County, Women Urged to Stay Low for Now
• Serbia-Montenegro win FIFA 2006 wold cup
• France: Oui surrender
• Tiger really didn't rape anybody
• Utah passes law mandating a nine-month waiting period prior to getting an abortion
• New tsunami 'hardly worth getting out of bed for'
• Ireland Eases Disco Dancing Restrictions
• Israel: We Won
• French carmaker Citroën expands advertising team
• Uncyclopedian Spams Prego Images in UnNews Article
• Lord's Prayer updated
• Jason goes to hell
• Humpy's bears
• Clinton calls on Obama to drop out despite his 92 delegate lead
• Gaddaffy Duck now hottest image on Google
• WMDs may have been moved to Mars
• Rat Poison is Harmful
• Peugeot Forced to Terminate Employees at UK Factory
• Hillary Clinton is a cunt; sues Uncyclopedia for libel
• Quentin Tarantino Wins First French Open
• Prince George Christmas pictures released
• Evans to force Oldham to sign him
• Anti-whaling pesk kids
• 26 killed in Baghdad book store, "Harry Potter" books blamed
• Tea Partiers come out as hate group
• Boisenberry's Inauguration Into New line of Skittles.
• Hezbollah: We Won
• Johnson family adopt cat possessed by the devil
• Pokémon found in Indonesia
• Viagra blamed for swollen Danube problem
• Bradford and Bingley goes tits up
• Bill Gates criticized over name change
• Queen names UK's newest battleship
• Guy falls asleep at his desk, has trouble waking up
• Guard dog seized for acts of unprovoked racist assault
• British Peace Officers to be Armed with Fortnite Shock Hammers.
• The English-language Uncyclopedia thanks its contributors for creating over 250,000,000 articles
• God changes profile picture in response to tragedy
• Horse bites off man's testicle
• Math too Complex for 9th Grader
• FISA law passes
• Pope Francis is dead
• Kevin Sama not guilty of his warcrimes!
• "30 Rock" cast member arrested for DUI, Michael Richards calls him a nigger
• Renee Zellweger unrecognisable
• Bin Laden not dead, vacationing in Hell
• US closer than ever to caring about World Cup
• New Zealand National Party only wants the Flintstones as immigrants
• Man gains 80 pounds by eating McDonald's "healthy" options
• Everybody loves your mom
• LaToya Jackson missing since Thursday
• Nets coach fined for spilling seed on court
• Lars Ulrich to join Alvin and the Chipmunks
• Wikia CEO contracts Hepatitis B, world celebrates
• Tragedy as Big Bang Theory to end after just 72 more episodes
• Americans adapting to hard times
• Politician seeks Klingon Votes
• New habitable planet in Gliese 619 discovered beyond Neopia's orbit
• Tampa Bay wide receiver catches Florida toddler
• Holiday Hawk maims several Scientologists
• America resigns as worlds superpower
• Man Pumps Seabiscuit
• 2013 UnNews Review: November
• Romney Denies Secret Hillary Deal
• Angelina Jolie auctions breasts for breast cancer charity
• Man Poops on Obama
• Winehouse arrested for delayed reactions.
• Facebook arrested for murder of Email
• Americans want to know; where de white women at?
• World didn't end again
• "Harry Potter" sidekick infected with Swine flu, no magical cure however
• Literacy declining in Florida, study finds
• Greatest fake heart attack ever performed is still going on
• Castro undergoes surgery; citizens flee while they can
• RCB's Facebook: "Luciana's second daughter is here"
• Dick Clark still hosting New Year's Eve show
• Satirist killed, police advise caution to 'paedian parodists
• 25-year-old 'cannot download any more apps'
• Dubai criticized for “not producing enough oil”
• Obama reveals his true colours
• Hillary Clinton: "I've got 35 years of experience fighting bears"
• South America
• Apocalypse warning, kittens involved
• Beto O'Rourke puts finishing touches on heartrending 2020 Presidential concession speech
• Obama sworn-in, again, immediately arrested
• Hardened butter tears through fresh bread - sandwich ruined
• NRA approves of law allowing blind to own firearms
• Make-up addict predicts husband will turn into Quasimodo
• Albert shown at Boston, Danvers brigde
• An Unreleased Michael Jackson Song Found Under His Bed.
• Spam is made of Cubans
• Saddam goes on trial for ball tampering
• Kids get hurt playing with their Wiis
• "No tag-backs," declares Libya
• Nokia 3310 destroyed
• Autopsy reveals popcorn fumes killed opera star
• Wikipedia launches Medicine Reference Desk, orders bot to delete it
• Jesus comes in honor of Good Friday
• Glasses are officially declared geeky
• Cyrus stopped by 40,000 masturbating old men
• Top Google searches show world stupid
• Justin Bieber turned into a beaver
• Man feeds son to goannas
• Donald Trump cusses out President Obama
• Mueller report just 500-word essay on importance of reports
• Police shoot white van man
• High court rules:It's still rape even if you shout surprise
• Britney Spears Yawns
• Dick continues to act like dick
• Eddie Murphy Storms Out From The Oscars
• Athlete stripped of medal at the European Athletics Championship
• Man Enjoys Strip Club, Vows to Return
• NATO unveils new cruiser
• Scandal among the faithful as Jesus nearly bores worshippers to death
• Jack Black Vs. Jack White: The Jack-Off
• Australian Prime Minister and Opposition leader revealed to be part elephant!
• Concerns as Pacino opts to keep Spector haircut
• SA taxi driver pays fine
• Man faces legal action after winking without permission
• Japanese Attack Pearl Harbor Again!
• UnNews reporter to be beheaded by ISIS
• Chickens discover eggs are bad for humans
• Video game blamed for school attack
• Predictions for 2014
• Street star lands ITV chat / gay porn show
• Batman nearing cancer eradication
• Lebouef admits to stealing name
• Iran declares war on next hurricane
• Utah bans marriages based on love
• UnNews will now only write about sports
• Goalkeeper killed by shot
• Martians sue Blair for criminal damage
• Fox News channel presents honest image to the world
• Stairway to Heaven declared worst song ever written, Jimmy Page now sucks
• Heathrow Terminal 5 open to failure
• Indigenous People's Day Celebrations Marred by Smallpox Deaths
• Kentucky woman killed by snake in church obviously "sinner"
• This article was attacked by terrorists
• Chron Aquires a New Laptop with the Uncyc Sales Funds
• GMDixx announces dick plant success
• Bush finally declares war on war
• Nelson Mandela killed by giant "Nelson Mandela" robot
• Silverjet sacks entire workforce
• Obama touts ice cream bailout success
• Stern dropped from radio stations
• All 'girls' in sex chat room actually girls
• UK children are a bunch of lazy bastards
• Target withdraws lubricant after complaints
• Teenage Girl smashes computer monitor in Royal Bank
• Actor Undergoes Emergency Pocket-Watch Related Surgery
• Joe Biden hit by semi-truck
• Rafael Nadal Thinks He Disappointed Millions By Losing French Open
• Clump calls for calm in nation
• Scooby-Doo Named Acting Director of Division of Enforcement
• Clinton backer breaks leash runs away to Obama yard
• Waterquakes shake South Pacific Ocean
• Jesus returns from grave, traded to Jets
• Truck crashes through downtown Toronto
• Irresponsible Hecklers urge on hesitant busker
• Man steals free samples
• Pope makes creepy apology to child-abuse victims
• Sonic the Hedgehog Passes Away at 21
• Don King sells tickets to Muhammed Ali's funeral
• Australia marks one year since entire state washed away
• Passenger finds harpoon in Air Canada sandwich
• Trump awarded prestigious award by Greenpeace
• Mother accuses infant of sexual harrassment
• Niagara Falls loses job
• Samuel Jackson rips Oscars on diversity
• Police Suspect Guilty-looking Puppy Dog
• Aliens invade UK Woman
• Man unsure whether he likes Burger King or McDonalds most
• Chinese "one dog" rule triggers worries of famine
• "ITS NOT FAIR, I'M THE BEST, NOT HIM" - F1 'ace' Alonso acedes defeat gracefully
• Gobshite IPO announced
• Republican Presidential Candidate Eagle Calls Democrat Vice-Presidential Nominee Animal "Unhinged"
• Carrots are only nutritious if they are consumed - study finds
• Terrorists target Green Bay sewer system
• U. S. Air Force drops nuclear bomb on Tehran - claims "miscommunication"
• Anna Nicole Smith: Real Life Satirizes Uncyclopedia!
• Saddam sentenced to death
• Doctors say recent spike in childbirth due to low abortion rate.
• Three die in airport terminal after dehydration; airport security measures to blame
• Mr ratburn is GAY
• Power is still out in St. Louis; nobody cares
• Local firebug trips himself up
• Brazilian plane lands after take-off
• Russia reinstates oil supply after winning song contest
• England get nightmare World Cup draw
• Coyote $21,000 in debt
• Cameron offer to be designated driver seals Con-Lib coalition
• Media outlets receive chilling hurricane threat tape
• Lukashenko Wins Again
• Report says Rumsfeld allowed Colonel Tigh to abuse Guantanamo prisoners
• England cricket team set to die in plane crash
• California heat-wave deadly; Antarctica heat-wave deadlier
• Taylor Swift: like a virgin
• NASA clarifies that it is not monitoring your internet traffic
• UnComics UnHoroscopes UnWeather UnMagazine/UnMagazine/archive
• McCall in Face stuck / Wind Change shock
• "Saw VI" got a G-rating by the MPAA
• Facebook changes "fans" to "stalkers"
• Perv Christmer delayed
• New Zealanders freak out as space junk hits backyard
• Obama claims his email was spammed
• Plane crash victims 'may be in interminable TV show'
• Jeff Bezos caught stuffing weird old fat dude into trunk of his car
• Tsumugi Shirogane plans to remove Wikipedia's notability guideline
• Circus Animals go extinct
• Something unimportant happens
• Minneapolis bridge players lost, search fruitless
• Biden wins 2024 election
• Election Aftermath: Hourly
• Your sister caused Zidane headbutt
• London cardboard box sells for £170,000
• TV's Mr. Whipple dies of ass cancer
• Mountain Goat Hunting, a Popular New Sport
• Tupac resurfaces at Radio Disney Awards
• Rocco Mediate lost in Tiger Woods
• Spain and Portugal go dark
• US military releases latest plans for combating insurgents
• Snakes on a Plane gets a Bollywood remake
• Todd Lyons "bigger than Jesus"
• Chronic drug abuser Heath Ledger dies
• Apple unveils new iPad Mini
• Viacom discovers YouTube to be full of piracy, people not amused
• UnJournalist: "Holy Crap!"
• Report: Obama Fathered Two Black Children
• Hundreds injured in raining men incident
• Mitch Hedberg celebrates birthday, in heaven.
• Giant UFO seen at O'Hare Airport, aliens pissed at delays
• Lobbyists Propose Controversial Change To No Child Left Behind
• Intern totally photobombs Korea talks
• Louis CK makes return to masturbating in front of junior staff
• Big Brother 8 to be more like 1984
• Hannah Monatana Unmasked as Russian Spy
• Offensive Uncyclopedia edits 'came from UK government'
• Overwhelming majority of men enjoy boobs
• Tour de France 2014 welcomes its share of broken bones
• Trump still ruining the U.S. economy
• Kittens kill Huffing Activists
• Oliver Larch found after 116 years
• Leather pants found at Newton John home
• Neighbor Blasts Dance Music At 3 AM; Presumed Insane
• Tiger Woods cures cancer
• Proposed ban on carousels
• Scientists: Irish dolphins boorish drunkards
• Dude's "Second Life" every bit as boring as his first life
• Eddie Murphy has artistic license revoked.
• World Taekwondo Federation to open daycare facilities across the US
• Dave Mustaine is running for president
• America files for divorce from GOP
• The mother who insists on wrestling her children aged FIVE and THREE
• Attempted popejacking foiled
• Nitrogen found to be poisonous
• Toilets refuse to take any more shit
• New Sexual Education Game Aimed at Children