UnNews:Man Poops on Obama
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
11 April 2010
BREAKING - Earlier today, at approximately 2:21am eastern standard, Barack Hussein Obama, previously the 44th President of the United States, was pooped on.
"I woke up early this morning because something smelled like poop. And there was my husband, covered in poopy," said a distraught Michelle Obama to the press. "I didn't notice at first that the cause of my husband's death was by poopy." Michelle hesitated and wiped her tears, she continued,"You see his skin color is brown. And my poopy is brown."
An unnamed man suspected of being the pooper was put into police custody several hours ago. His lawyer, the famous Jim Brown, passionately defended his client by stating that his client was "no pooper" and that "if he wanted to poop, he would've gone poopy in a toilet."
While the highly anticipated coroner results aren't final yet, many speculate the cause of Barack Obama's death was indeed by poopy, and maybe even with a drip or two of peepee.
"Damn shame my friend got covered in poopy," said a grim faced Joe Biden who is expected to be sworn in as the next President. "Damn shame indeed. Of all the places to poop on, it had to be on Obama."
He is survived by his wife Michelle Obama, and his two daughters Malia and Natasha. He was 48 years old.
