UnNews:Man confirms time

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

13 January 2013

CINCINNATI, Ohio -- Watchmakers around the world yesterday gave thanks to Phil McHock, an unconvincing 'babysitter' possibly looking to start a viral video, for informing them all what time it was.

McHock was apparently frustrated with the horologists' lack of certainty and their decision to listen to music in the midst of their doubt: "What the BLINK?" he exclaimed. "I told you guys, no BLINKing music!" He then asserted what time it was, and although it was non-specific, he was vehement that the world should be bathed in darkness: "I told you three BLINKing times to turn that BLINKing light off."

After turning off the light in his own inimitable style, he confirmed his belief in the time and left the room.

Watchmaker Daniel Fleischman said, "He is not an easy person to deal with, but whenever we have lost track of time, he has been there to let us know."