UnNews:Neil Young has been kidnapped by the Catholic Church
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
30 May 2013
Neil Young, the cousin of Paul, Lester, Angus, Malcolm and Vanda/Young, has been kidnapped by the Catholic Church. We already know why: this is part of the ruse to blow up the Sun. We already know why the Catholic Church is planning that, too. We even knew they were going to kidnap Neil or someone else, but nobody believed us.
Look. Concentrate on this. The Sun is going to explode at Summer Solstice - and it is your fault. Yours. We told you months ago that they were going to do just that. What did you do, all of you? Expected us, the UnNews crew, to stop the Catholic Church? Oh thank you. We are not Batman.
You want some more details on the issue, right? Now you're interested. Of course, you bastards. Now that you know that we are probably fucked, our information suddenly seems important. Well, fuck you. Read these old news reports and figure it out yourselves: