UnNews:Toronto voters 'to get help'

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
UnNews Logo Potato.png This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

1 May 2014

Rob Ford, cooking up some new policies.

Voters in Toronto, Canada are set to seek help after supporting drug-addled mayor Rob Ford for "an unacceptably extended period".

Ford denied taking crack cocaine for several months, before finally being filmed "in a drunken stupor" smoking the drug, yet his approval ratings remained high.

"We just took it a little too far," says Toronto citizen Jerry Myer. "At first it was supposed to be a little bit of fun, but it got out of hand.

"He was supporting a habit, and we were supporting him. It finally got to the stage where my parents - who live in Ottawa - called me and I had to admit it: I am a crack-addict-addict."

Mr Ford is seeking re-election in October, but many commentators are not convinced it is a smart idea for either side.

Joanna Corey from the Toronto Chronicle, told UnNews, "This is a classic co-dependent relationship. I think both Rob Ford and the people of Toronto need to accept they have a problem - he is an addict, we are facilitators - and go our separate ways before we all end up on the pipe."

Sources[edit | edit source]