UnNews:Clump calls for calm in nation

Monday, March 14, 2016

America's future.

Presidential candidate Donalary Clump has called for calm after further riots took place in the US.

The 68.5-year-old Republican Democrat told reporters: "I think it is clear now that I am the only way forward."

Clump laid out ~~his~~ ~~her~~ their credentials:

the only candidate who has spent time in the White House, in senior government positions, while maintaining complete independence from the political world.
a Pro-lifer who says that politicians have no place in deciding what happens to a woman's body.
a lifelong supporter of affordable healthcare who will end Obamacare as soon as they become president.
earlier in the campaign, Clump wondered if a female reporter was menstruating after she asked a difficult question, later explaining, "I was too so I know how she feels."
set to introduce revolutionary gun control laws, giving everyone concealed carry permits.
opposed to gay marriage and straight marriage, having had a rough time with both Bill Clinton and Ivana Trump.

Sources[edit | edit source]