UnNews:Man Pumps Seabiscuit

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19 May 2010

Seabiscuit's stunt double in happier, less raped times

TALLAHASSEE, Texas -- A man was found guilty of pumping the famous stunt double horse from the 2001 film Seabiscuit.

The rape has yet to have been confirmed by investigators as the horse was allegedly consensual to the act. The man 42, Albert McNaughton, is thought to have been drunk and also said to many of his friends that he "rather fancied the animal", this was after a night of heavy drinking however a local said that, "Nobody thought he would actually go through with it."

The farm horse that was called Sharon was an aging female with buck teeth and considered generally unattractive for most Texans. However McNaughton was not to be deterred though and broke into the animal's stable last night, turfed out the Mexicans sleeping near the horse and took his fill of amorous delight.

Animal rights campaigners are reportedly furious not just at the acts of buggery that took place, but the fact that he urinated up the animals leg, as a "Degrading Punishment" of some kind. The authorities have released McNaughton on bail pending further inquires.

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