UnNews:GMDixx announces dick plant success
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
2 May 2013
The multinational genetic research laboratory GMDixx Inc. announced today that their first experimental genetically manipulated penises are ready for testing, and that they are looking for young, healthy members of the opposite sex for test runs. "We are not preparing to pay anything for the beta testing, but we do allow the participants to sign a waiver wherein they promise not to press any charges if the penis they happen to get is somehow faulty", says the spokesman to GMDixx, Doctor Richard Boner.
The genetically engineered penis plant has been developed to produce a viable alternative to dildoes, which Dr. Boner says are usually made of non-recyclable and diminishing raw materials. "They are also often too small by one size at least", he claims, but gets pelted with several fertilized eggs by the female members of the press. To change the subject to something less infuriating, he digs out an erect GM penis from his rucksack. "Well?" he gloats at the stunned audience.
This reporter at least feels that a new era has begun today. What used to be a real problem - emasculated men uselessly fighting for power inside different political parties and large financial companies, not to mention other similar products of the modern society - can now be brushed aside. Quality has won another important battle.