UnNews:Russia reinstates oil supply after winning song contest

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

25 May 2008

Russia has reopened oil pipelines to Ukraine, Lativa and Lithuania today after its entry was the runaway winner at the 2008 Eurovision Song Contest last night. The song, entitled Believe (that we are not communist), sung by Comrade Bilan, scored highest in the contest in Belgrade last night, meaning that Moscow will host the contest next year, for which Russia are already hot favourites.

Vladimir Putin defended the country's decision to remove oil and electricity supplies to various Eastern European states for the two weeks leading up to the contest, saying, "We should be proud that we did not sink to the levels of Franco and actually rig the contest for the greatness of the Motherland... all we used was a little positive persuasion."

The oil supply was reinstated in the early hours of Sunday morning. The announcement that Ukraine's 12 points would go to Russia was accompanied by a plea for a return of power - "you have your contest, can we please have our power back? People in our hospitals are dying!"