UnNews:UK children are a bunch of lazy bastards

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

14 February 2007

A child shirking his chores yesteryear

A damning report today puts the UK at the bottom of a league for child bone idleness in developed nations. Tellingly the United Nations sponsored report puts the UK below such backwater countries as Rwanda and France.

Unicef looked at 40 indicators from the years 2000-2003 including doing the dishes, cleaning the car, making breakfast for Mummy and Daddy and coal mining.

John Tinker of York agreed with the report, he told Unnews that "my son Marcus is a lazy little sh*t. Why he refuses even to clear out the asbestos from my old garden shed! Cerebal palsy or not he should do his damn chores."

Unicef - the United Nations children's organisation - says Child Apathy in Perspective: An Overview of Child Indolence in Rich Countries is the first such study of childhood across the world's industrialised nations.

Megan, of Wales said of the report, "How the hell do I know how to change a bloody wheel on a articulated lorry, I'm 6 years old for Christs sake!"

In the league table Iraq came top, mainly because if the children of that charming little country don't get off their behinds they are liable to be shot or exploded by terrorists / insurgents / A[censored]ns

Sources

• BBC "Get off your FAT ARSE" BBC, February 14, 2007