UnNews:Man Enjoys Strip Club, Vows to Return
By Ray Bob McCobb 20:07, 19 May 2008 (UTC)
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
19 May 2008
LOGLICH, Iowa-- Joseph McIntire has been to strip clubs before. He's seen his share of boobs and has stuck many a licked dollar bill to his forehead. However, his perception of Gentleman's Clubs was forever altered last weekend after viewing his first live girl-on-girl sex show.
"Them girls is ACTUALLY FUCKIN'!", a wide-eyed McIntire exclaimed at The Beaver Lodge Gentleman's Club in rural Loglich. "That ain't fake, it looks like they love each other!" he added.
McIntire spent the remainder of the evening glued to his chair, gazing in astonishment at the Shower Stage as two lovely young ladies performed insertion after insertion and a myriad of beautiful positions, each one more titillating than the last.
When asked to describe his experience at The Beaver Lodge, Joseph had this to say: "I love it here. The girls are beautiful, I ain't seen a C-section scar all night. And the bring-your-own-beer policy is great, it would cost me a fortune to drink a 30-pack at the other Titty Bars. At first I was pissed off about the $15 cover charge, but then the muff-diving started. Them girls is doing God's work. I'll definitely be back."
And you can bet your last sweaty, horizontally-creased dollar bill that he will be.