UnNews:Kitten confesses to killing

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2 April 2007

April 2, 2007 -- WASHINGTON - A four-legged terror suspect who would have tried to join the Sept. 11 hijackers if he had been born soon enough, has admitted a major role in the deadly attack against the MenuFoods Corporation, according to a transcript of his confession.

Puffkins confessed to planning the attack on the executives of MenuFoods that killed 2 midlevel managers on last Tuesday, according to dispassionate testimony he gave at a hearing in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.

Puffkins, who dreamt of serving as Osama bin Laden's favorite pet, is also suspected of allowing two of the Sept. 11 wanna-be hijackers to pet and groom him.

"I participated in the buying or purchasing of the guns and ammunition from a Bull Terrier puppy named Goodboy," he said when asked about how the killings were planned.

"I put together the plan for the operation."

He said he was responsible for "Shooting those meanies who were trying to feed me rat poison."

"He's a big kitten" said terror expert Andrew Cochran.