UnNews:UnJournalist: "Holy Crap!"

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

17 May 2007

UnNews - Editors @ UnNews mourn the death of Jerry Falwell. So they just all fall down and go weep in a dark corner somewhere (No! I don't mean the UnNews kitchenette!! Stay the fuck outta there! I just cleaned it!).

Editor Douchebag was last seen running down the hallway at UnNews headquarters sucking his thumb and whimpering something about, "...no more Falwell...boo hoo...no more funny..." Or something like that. It was obvious which direction they went by the slobber trail, but nobody wants to follow it.

Another editor who was a three time Foolitzer, but lost every Emanual Goldstein contest, was dragged to the Insane Asylum for Insane former UnNews Editors kicking and screaming, "Jimbo is GOD! Jimbo is GOD! Jimbo why have thou forsaken me!!!!!!!!!!" It was a pretty sad sight, but all the writers laughed anyway and ate powdered donuts to celebrate the occasion. You know, the kind that make you look like a coke-freak.

So all this journalist has to say is, "HOLY CRAP!!!, we can get away with murder, they way we got away with Jerry Falwell's murder!! Ha haha ha ha ha haahahahahaaaaha haaa haaa!"