UnNews:Israel: We Won

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

15 August 2006

We won! Now, if you'll excuse me, my colon has just prolapsed. (Olmert)

JERUSALEM, Israel -- Following the cease fire agreement in Lebanon, the Israeli prime minister, Ehud Olmert, declared the following in yet another televised interview.

"In every altercation with Hezbollah, the IDF soldiers had the upper hand. Hezbollah leaders went into hiding and are lying. We will continue to hunt them down anytime, anywhere." In addition, Olmert promised that his organization would advance efforts to rehabilitate the damaged North over the next several years.

According to the Prime Minister, there were also shortcomings in managing the situation that will needed to be examined. "We won't hide or sweep anything under the rug, but we won't be unnecessarily harsh. We don't have the luxury to wallow in arguments".

He called for the Israeli government to stand united behind the IDF's soldiers.

Olmert made it clear that Israel did absorb damages during the war, but added, "Israel has made it clear to the world that it will not accept attacks on it.” He also said that the UN Resolution may result in a fundamental change in the situation along the Northern border.