UnNews:Al Sharpton and the KKK both report having a fantastic wank today

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

26 November 2014

FERGUSON, Missouri - Baptist minister and civil rights activist Al Sharpton and the several thousand strong ranks of the Ku Klux Klan have all reportedly had their most enjoyable session of masturbation in years. Although they may disagree about most things, Sharpton and the KKK both reported reaching truly in incredible heights of sexual ecstasy after watching last night's live news coverage for 4 hours before bedtime.

"They judge me and call me wrong and a sicko, but watching those young men furiously going at it last night made me feel so so right!" said a tired-looking, but still ecstatic, Grand Dragon. When answering questions from reporters, Sharpton repeated the sentiment; "Sometimes when you get old you think young men aren't going to willingly do those silly things that make you feel like a God. Thank you Ferguson for proving me wrong." Upon hearing of the possibility of revenge hate crimes, the Reverend then begged the reporters for a Kleenex or two because "...the grocery store had burned down somehow."