UnNews:Spam is made of Cubans

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

1 March 2006

“MMMMMM Cubans.”

~ Oscar Wilde on SPAM

Hormel Food Corporation make products such as Turkey, Ham, and Dried Beef. But Hormel is most famous for making the product known as SPAM. Everyone always wonders what meat is in SPAM. Its a mystery to most. But the truth is that SPAM is made of worst meat of all, Cubans.

Every year 143,500 Cubans come into North America illegally. The government just doesn't have enough man power to keep them all detained. So the government got the great idea to sell the rights to Cubans found abroad to the Hormel Foods. Any Cubans found floating on doors, trees, rafts, or any other item can be captured. On Average they bring in 372 tons of Cubans a night.

The Cubans are then brought to a small island off the coast of Florida where they are cleaned, poked and gutted. The meat is then collected and sent to Hormel Foods main packaging plant, where SPAM is made.

A group had been formed called SPAMC. Which stands for Start Protecting All Members of Cuba. SPAMC is fighting to put a stop to the gathering of Cubans for SPAM. The government had sadly also sold there rights to the Hormel Corporation found trying to help Cubans get into the United States. At this rate, the amount of illegal immigrants sneaking into America will slowly drop to that of Canada's.

Nevertheless, we can always rely to our neighbors to the south (the United States of Canada of course).