UnNews:Hundreds injured in raining men incident
Wednesday, February 25, 2015
Hundreds of women were reported injured yesterday as - for the first time in history - it started raining men.
At just about half-past ten, local time, witnesses reported seeing men literally falling from the sky. One, Joanna Corey, told UnNews, "When I heard the news, I ran outside. If I am honest, I even boasted about getting soaking wet. And I did. But not with any kind of vaginal juices. A 180-pound man falling from a great height crashed on top of me, and the next thing I knew, I was soaking wet with blood. It was in my eyes, my nose, my mouth, everywhere."
Local authorities have been heavily condemned for their response to the weather forecast. "All the signs were there," says meteorologist Barry Snoman, "The humidity was rising, the barometer was getting low. We issued a warning that it was about to start raining men, but for some reason - we still don't know why - the public announcement said the street was the place to go, when in fact that it was the most dangerous place you could be."
One unfortunate victim, Natasha Ferguson, had one arm and both legs broken by a falling man. She was left in no doubt as to who was to blame, "Curse you Mother Nature! I thought of you as a single mother!
"Now I can see the only thing you have in common with any single mother is the bitter desire to ruin other women's lives!"