UnNews:London cardboard box sells for £170,000

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

22 January 2007

"The market holds limitless potential," says real estate agent Jason Scum.

WATERLOO, London, Monday — A cardboard box roughly the size of a snooker table has gone on sale for £170,000 in London's upmarket Waterloo Station area in Southwark. The former kitchen cooking range shipping box measures 11ft by 7ft by 4ft, and includes DSL broadband and a Sky TV dish.

The box is located in the former Cardboard City area near Waterloo Station. "It's gone way upmarket since the 1990s," said agent Jason Scum, associate director at Wrongmove and Bastard. "We expect the value to only appreciate." It is expected to attract buyers due to its close proximity to the fashionable bars, shops, leisure facilities and fetish clubs nearby.

In fact, the £170,000 price tag may make it one of the most affordable properties in the area. UK house prices rose by 10.5% during 2006, with Daily Mail readers continuing to be smug arseholes.

"We're looking into converting other nearby cardboard boxes, and possibly getting some made up specially with the Sky dish and broadband connections already fitted," said Scum.

Sources

• Jason Scum "Lovely little shitbox, sir - no, the turds are a feature" Die Real Estate Shitbag, January 22, 2007