UnNews:Man unsure whether he likes Burger King or McDonalds most

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8 October 2006

Gordon Swann is 'stumped'.

BOULDER, Colorado -- Boulder resident Gordon Swann just can't decide whether he likes Burger King or McDonalds the most. Torn between the two fast food restaurants at lunchtime today, Swann announced; "Darnit. I just can't decide. Burger King has better sandwiches, but I really like the chips at McDonalds." The decision between the two restaurants has plagued Swann every lunchtime since he started work at Bart's CD Shack in downtown Boulder.

Moving hesitatingly towards Burger King, Swann confessed "I could go for a Double Whopper right now, for sure". Swann then drew back, saying "but what about one of those McChicken Sandwiches?" Swann grunted angrily, "I'm stumped!".

Swann opted to buy a hot dog and a can of Mountain Dew from a street vendor instead. "Maybe tomorrow I'll make up my mind" said Swann sadly. He then left to watch a Jamaican street performer shove himself into a small glass box for the amusement of Boulder's stoned collegiate contingent. "Like, man," said one stoner. "Dude!"

Sources

• Millicent Aberration "Stoners confounded by Gordon Swanns conundrum" UnNews, October 8, 2006