UnNews:Hillary Clinton is a cunt; sues Uncyclopedia for libel

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

12 June 2013

Hillary Rodham Clinton, the former U.S. Senator, Secretary of Defense, First Lady, and current cunt, has been confirmed to be an unmitigated, complete, irredeemable cunt. In light of such accusations she has filed a lawsuit against the news organization that made this malicious claim against her.

UnNews, the internet's most trusted news outlet, ran the objective, factual story in 2013 after being paid large sums of money by the Republican Party. The organization has been accused of slandering Mrs. Cunton and damaging her reputation by doing so. Its news piece, titled "Hillary Clinton is a cunt; sues Uncyclopedia for libel", was written by Pulitzer Prize nominated freelance journalist and biographer 108.97.24.22. UnNews and the article's author have claimed that they're being persecuted for leaking top secret documents about government officials (e.g. Hillary Clinton) which were provided by an anonymous whistleblower. Despite blowing a whistle, the whistleblower has not been identified.

Mrs. Clinton is seeking $30 in damages, a highball estimate of her public image that was reportedly destroyed. UnNews has promised to not pay as paying to be fucked by a cunt is prostitution and is therefore illegal.