UnNews:Guy falls asleep at his desk, has trouble waking up

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

26 July 2007

NEW YORK - Ben Nobody, star employee at Company Enterprises, recently acquired his 10th award for best work effort at his job for doing more than all the other people in his workplace.

Alas, things cannot always be the same.

Soon after midnight on July 26th, Ben fell asleep at his desk. A few hours later, when the first few employees were rolling into work, they found Ben asleep at his desk, with unfinished work visible on the monitor. He was reported to be mumbling "What have I done to you? I think I overreacted" in his sleep.

"I don't understand what's happened to Ben," chairman Bob Earnest stated in a press release. "He was such a good employee, but now he's completely changed on us. Why did I give him the award in the first place?"

Bob also stated that Ben will be given one months' worth of leave from office to "do research on valuable business subjects". "I think that this is the best we can do for him. He's worked hard over the past while but I have to give him a break."

Ben was carried out of the office sound asleep.

Sources

• Carl Prols "Star employee asleep at desk" The New York Times, July 26, 2007