UnNews:California heat-wave deadly; Antarctica heat-wave deadlier

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

28 July 2006

A Californian on fire as a result of the heat-wave.

IGLOO, Antarctica (AP) -- The heat-wave striking most of California, particularly in the Fresno area, has recently topped death tolls at over 120. Reports indicate that a majority of those dead, died.

One Fresno man reportedly pretended to act deceased, just so that he could have himself placed in a walk-in freezer at the city morgue. He later died from hypothermia.

However, the heat-wave in most of the United States is nothing in comparison to that which is being felt in Antarctica. In the last week, Antarctica broke four heat records. Chief Meteorologist Darryl Quimby stated, "Typically, temperatures around this time of the year are in the -30's (Farenheit), now we're looking at a massive heat-wave as temperatures are around the -20's."

Some suggest that these heat-waves are a direct result of global warming. However, statistics report that over 70% of Antarctica citizens use hybrid snowmobiles.

Although nobody has died from the heat-wave in Antarctica, the sudden rise in temperatures has many alarmed. Most Antarcticans say that they'll start turning their AC on when it starts to get around -10. "A real squelcher," says one Antarctican resident, "I'm considering wearing shorts next season."

Sources

• N/A "California Heat-Wave Pwns 120" CNN/AP, July 28, 2006