UnNews:WMDs may have been moved to Mars
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
7 April 2006
WASHINGTON DC -- "Kindasleezy" Rice announced today that all WMDs have been eradicated here on Earth, and that the War on Terra is now, once again, over. However, Rice also explained that some WMDs may have been missed.
According to intel reports from the British, some WMDs may have escaped detection, and may have been unaccounted for this entire time. Rice revealed photos from Mars where the WMDs may be hidden.
"Unfortunately," Rice exclaimed, "none of our operatives have returned from their intelligence gathering missions. This only further increases our suspiscion that some faction is killing or capturing our operatives in an effort to hide the actual location of WMDs on Mars."
In the same press conference, Rumsfeld, presented the budget for the invasion of Mars. The impressive budget included the use of the "Prius-upgraded" Space Shuttles which are now super efficient.
When questioned by reporters at the conference about a possible mistake, Rummsfeld squaked back that there is no possible way to confuse the deserts of Earth with those found on Mars. "There's no possible way! The cameras on the satellites are pointed in different directions...you idiots. Seriously, don't ask me stupid questions."
Sources[edit | edit source]
- "Yuri" of the former KGB