UnNews:Terrorists target Green Bay sewer system

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

14 September 2006

This idiot is smiling because he has no sense of smell or taste.

GREEN BAY, Wisconsin -- About a billion gallons of raw sewage shot up like geysers from man-holes throughout the downtown region of Green Bay, Wisconsin today. "We're still not sure what caused the volcanic eruption of crap," says City Commissioner Bob Hemmblatz. "We've heard rumors that it could be terrorists or even a massive coordinated prank by Chicago Bears fans."

Hezbollah leaders would not make themselves available for comment. After being asked about the incident, they would slam to the ground kicking and turning five shades of blue and finally bursting out in massive uproars of laughter.

Special Forces "Shit Stormer" vehicles were crucial to rescue efforts.

An infuriated President Bush, while attending a UN conference, nearly beat the crap out of a nearby piece of furniture. Bush exclaimed, "the US is not going to take this shit anymore. There's shit everywhere! There's shit on the ceiling! That just isn't right. Somebody is going to pay for this one."

Next month, the Commissioner to put up a vote to change the name to Brown Bay.

Source

• Carl Sagan "Terrorism rears its ugly rear" Wisconsin Cheddar Times, September 14, 2006