UnNews:USA completes phase 2 of Iraq war

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

10 July 2008

Mission Accomplished

Patch of Dirt, Iraq US generals, having recently moved the last of the unrefined yellowcake from Iraq to a completely peace-loving country, Canada, made a surprise announcement that phase 2 of the Iraq war, or successfully removing all forms of energy from the nation, was also now complete.

A secret convoy of vessels masquerading as legitimate commercial oil tankers pulled alongside Canadian ports early this morning and proceeded to unload the 50 billion barrels of oil that Saddam Hussein's regime had been hiding from US officials in deep underground reservoirs, along with an elmo doll, an unspecified amount of natural gas, coal, crude solar panels and electrical turbines of all shapes and sizes.

"This pretty much leaves the terrorists with the ability to walk and light their own farts, which the US army is capable of dealing with. " explained master strategist and part time janitor Bob "Although in the past, we have had some casualties from that."

Phase 3 of the war, or "Leaving", is planned for next week.

Sources

The horses mouth