UnNews:France: Oui surrender

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

16 August 2006

Chirac shit his pants when he forgot who to surrender to

France -- In response to the recent UN sponsored ceasefire in Lebanon, French President Jacques Chirac has stated France will surrender, following their long tradition of surrendering.

Chirac attempted to maintain his country's undefeated stance, "We will never lose a battle, a skirmish, a war. But if we need to surrender outright we will." However, when asked who France would surrender to, Chirac said "Whoever", or at least something like that, since he said it in French.

When Bill O'Reilly was asked to comment on how this would affect his boycott of France, the frequent anti-French activist only mumbled something about "Cheese Eating Surrender Monkeys." He then went onto a half hour rant on how France will ruin Christmas for everyone.

The Bush family midweek Taco Fiesta was not affected by these events according to White House spokesmen. Arie Luyendyke had nothing further to add.

Sources

• Al Paca "France surrenders prematurely" Non-negative Integers Press, Aug. 15, 2006