UnNews:This year's Oscar winners

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

3 March 2014

That one.

Best picture

Winner: That One Picture of Edward Snowden

Best director

Winner: Rob Ford - Mayor of Toronto

Best actor

Winner: Anthony Weiner - Text Scandal 3

Best actress

Winner: Miley Cyrus - Train Wreck

Best supporting actor

Winner: Bradley Chelsea Manning - Dallas Buyers Club

Best supporting actress

Winner: Lupita Nyong'o - Black Actresses Can Be Slaves or Single Moms

Best adapted screenplay

Winner: Why Benghazi was Attacked by US government

Best adapted screenplay

Winner: He touched my basement in the attic by Dylan Farrow.

Best foreign language film

Winner: 12 years a slave (Jive)

Best score

Winner: Phillip Seymour Hoffman

Best visual effects

Winner: Air-brushing of Kim Jong-Un's uncle from all official photos.