UnNews:Osaka bin Laden claims responsibility for cruise ship killer ‘mystery waves’
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
4 March 2010
A communiqué interrupted investigators on their way to Barcelona, Spain, where a cruise ship is docked after three mysterious rogue waves impacted it. Two passengers were killed when the 26-foot high waves struck the vessel, smashing windows.
The message, via email from world-renown water terrorist Osaka bin Laden—responsible for the 2004 Pacific Rim tsunami disaster—announced that the waves had been a result of a minor undersea tremor experiment. Bin Laden said he had been conducting the experiment to determine how to create individual, high-impact waves for selective targeting. “I hope to be able to single out specific coastal targets in the very near future,” Osaka explained. “That big Jesus in Rio has always bothered me.”
The Maltese investigators, called in due to the cruise ship’s being under Maltese flag, resolved that they would still meet for an expensive traditional Spanish feast at government expense before returning home.
Osaka bin Laden escaped from capture in 2005 by outwitting Batman. His exact whereabouts are currently unknown.