UnNews:Sex considered to be 2nd most pleasurable activity

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

20 May 2008

Laguna Beach, CALIFORNIA- Sex is the 2nd most pleasurable activity according to scientists at The Research Center for Pointless Facts located in Laguna Beach, California. About a total of 5 million people were poled through pop-up ads, door to door poll people and newspaper ads. The study shows that people voted sex as the second most pleasurable activity. Surprising many scientists masturbation came in first place. The statistic show that 70% of people poled said masturbation was more fun than sex. "We were very surprised by what we saw." Said Dennis Anderson one of the top scientists at the Research Center for Pointless Facts. Many other scientists agreed with Anderson. Some speculate what this could mean. "It is possible that a large amount of the people polled have never actually experienced sex or have no idea what it is." Donald Rumford a assistant to Mr. Anderson at the facility. Rumford's state proved true when a sister research facility released data that said 70% of people poled thought sex was a number possible confused with the number 6. "It makes you think who the fuck takes these poles" Dennis said. Dennis is now trying to prove that 70% of people who answer poles are morons.