UnNews:How Irish was your St Patrick's?
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
18 March 2014
One star: You drank green Guinness, had some whiskey, and stole a top hat shaped like a pint of Guinness.
Two stars: The above, plus you made a playlist of songs by the Pogues, Sinéad O'Connor, U2 and the Cranberries.
Three stars: You decided to become a famous Irish writer, and inevitably leave your mother land.
Four stars: You turned an incongruous national landmark green. (See right.)
Five stars: Your house was invaded by your neighbour who forced you to speak his language. You have more or less got rid of him, but he is still occupying half your attic.