UnNews:Nets coach fined for spilling seed on court

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

30 November 2013

The new basketball season has seen many surprise moments already.

Brooklyn Nets coach Jason Kidd was fined $50,000 by the NBA for spilling seed on the court to delay the latter stages of a recent game.

Kidd's team were trailing the LA Lakers by five points with 8.3 seconds left when Kidd appeared to tell Nets reserve Tyshawn Taylor to knock the cum out of his hand. The Nets had no timeouts left, but despite a brief delay they could not alter the 99-94 score to the Lakers.

"The cum slipped out of my hand while I was getting off," Kidd claimed.

However, television footage appeared to show Kidd instructing Taylor to "hit me" as the player approached him, with cum spilling out onto the floor.

Kidd denied he had deliberately spilled the seed, suggesting it was simply a case of nerves.

"Sweaty palms. I was never good with my balls," he said. "In the heat of the battle, you're trying to get guys in and out, and the cum slipped out of my hand."

The Nets have won 4 and lost 11 games in the Atlantic Division of the NBA's Eastern Conference this season.

Sources

• Leverage, "Brooklyn Nets coach Jason Kidd fined for deliberate drink spillage" BBC, November 30, 2013