UnNews:Rapture conman hung from jackass tree by disgruntled fucktards

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

21 May 2011

The cunning conman Camping convinced Christians out of their currency.

OAKLAND, California -- Serial conman and dog-faced liar Harold Camping, who twice predicted the end of the world - once in 1994 and again at 6 PM on May 21, 2011 - has grown filthy rich from bilking morons into giving him their life savings in exchange for raptured assholes.

But at 6:01 PM today when his 100% certain doomsday prediction again failed to materialize he was struck by a bolt of lightning then tarred-and-feathered before being hung from a jackass tree (Salix africanus asinus) by his balls.

Disgruntled idiots who had given him all their life savings were outraged and demanded a refund... Wait! HUH!? Oh no! Crash, bzzzzsssk, CRA-DAAACK, KAA-BOOOOM, tsssszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.........................